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From:
keren epstein-gilboa <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Thu, 6 Sep 2001 15:17:58 -0700
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Absolutely agree that the baby's protests are about being away from mother and do not have to do with feeding. 
I thought I would add to many of your helpful comments.

 It is important to remember infants' cognitive and emotional development. Infants at this age do not fully differentiate between their self and mother self. In their mind they are still one as they were before birth. It is very difficult for infants to comprehend that the "mother part" has simply, temporally disappeared for a while. 

It sounds like Jessica's baby is a wonderful strong baby who has been receiving good feelings about herself and the world from her mom. Hence, she feels confident enough to loudly protests when her mother (the part of herself that we might define as mother)  is missing!  Obviously, Jessica has been meeting her baby's needs extremely well and has enabled this baby to have enough trust in the world to demand the best! 

I also agree with Patricia, that cups mixed with gentle loving and warmth might be helpful.  For some infants,cup feeding might be seen as less intrusive than a foreign tasting, fast flowing ((choking)) and importantly, feeling bottle nipple.

 However, infants with what we might call, "extremely good self images", might still refuse anything but the breast.  

The demeanor of the substitute feeder is important as well. Is this person calm, understanding and accepting of the infant's temporary sense of loss of the important mother self? Loss is felt even if the bottle is provided by the other parent i.e. the dad. It is important to remember that in infants' emotional world, mothers and fathers are not seen as the same. Hence, even if a bottle is fed by a father, the infant continues to sense of a loss of the "mother self". 

As others have mentioned, taking baby to work in a sling is of course the best, if possible. I believe that this not only helps the maternal infant dyad, but this action also has far reaching educational potential, especially if the working mom works with breastfeeding families.  By nursing in front of or together with our clients we teach positioning, mothering, and normalize nursing in a way that can not be conveyed though any other educational method!

Keren Epstein-Gilboa MEd,BScN,RN,LCCE,IBCLC,
PhD (Candidate)
psychotherapist 

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