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Subject:
From:
Cathy Bargar <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Fri, 14 May 1999 10:51:53 -0400
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Did anybody else see the  May 17th issue of Newseek (the one with the new
Star Wars movie on the front)? In the back, in the "family" section, is a
big article about "sleep deprivation" and how to get your children to sleep
through the night, etc.  Titled "Sleepless and Cranky: When the baby won't
rest, everyone else suffers". The whole thing is about the impact of
children's "sleep problems" on the parents; no actual discussion of what the
*child* needs. Very distressing!

Starts out with a little ditty about a family whose 21/2 yr. old has
recently started waking in the night & early morning, the parents are
frustrated and exhausted, and - here's the example of what a huge crisis the
is - the whole family slept till noon one Saturday and missed a 10:00 AM
birthday party. Now there's a problem! The mother says "She's waking up
scared, crying and screaming. I can't handle it anymore!" . The article goes
on to say:

"Exhausted parents...can suffer from drowsiness, inability to concentrate,
impaired memory, loss of creativity and mood swings...But sleep deprivation
is the American way of life, doctors say."

Talks about all the problems this sleep deprivation due to babies & toddlers
can cause with staying awake while driving, marital and job problems,
parental depression, etc.

"...children sleep more than 90 hours a week as newborns...The problem is,
infants wake up frequently for diaper changes and milk, and young children
for comfort after nightmares."

Yup, those unhappy or hungry babies are a big problem, all right. Goes on &
on about parents' sleep fragmentation, interruption of their sleep cycles,
etc.

All true, as any parent can tell you, and I am as sympathetic as can be to
new parents' sleep crises - been there, done that, remember it well. But the
problem I find with this article is that it is totally adult-centered; no
discussion of what *babies* need and want and should get, or of how
distressing it is to the poor toddlers who wake up screaming in terror from
bad dreams (which I remember vividly from my own childhood - it's even worse
than adult sleep-deprivation, trust me!). NO discussion of what is "normal"
sleep for adults, totally assuming that all adults the world over (and their
children, of course) expect to lie down in bed and sleep for 8 straight
sacred hours without "disruption of sleep cycles". A completely  "It's all
about *me*" attitude. NOTHING about what is normal for babies, and why in
fact it's a *good* thing that they wake so frequently to eat, or how
throughout much of the world and most of human history a baby who slept 11
or 12 hours at night would be considered to be very ill and in grave danger.

They quote a woman who "Ferberized" her children, who at ages 1 yr. & 5 yrs.
sleep 11-12 hours at night without waking: "My husband have a life
together...we can sit down at night & watch television!" she gushes.

Well, hmmm...you get the idea. Is the fact that this perspective on the
"nuisance" of having babies wake at night really aggravating to me just
proof that I spend too much time with my fellow lactnuts? Maybe I need to
get a life, and go watch TV more!

Cathy Bargar, RN, IBCLC Ithaca NY

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