Wise ones,
        Although this may sound like a hoax, it is true and your input is
needed......
        Mom and dad are split up, no legal marriage existed, so that part
was simple.  However, dad is rather a control freak, and at a hearing for
a protective order told the judge that since the mom has begun dating
again and is still bf a three year old, he feels she is endangering the
child by possibly infecting her with HIV through the breast milk.  (This
mom is *NOT* HIV +)  The dad just felt that since she was seeing someone,
she could expose herself to HIV and thus expose the child.
        The frightening thing is that **the judge thought he had an
"excellent point"**!!!  (Mom's attorney thought the judge wouldn't listen
and throw it out.)  When the mother said she felt the dad might need a
psychiatric evaluation (for abuse; mom thinks he is chemically
unbalanced and fears now that she is no longer available for him to vent
on, the children may be in danger) the judge told her that many people
would say the same about her for nursing a 3 yo and ordered evals for
them both.  (That's OK with the mom; she's not concerned for herself
here).
        Her attorney cut it off at that point by reminding the judge that
today's issue was a protective order......but this will be the same judge
that deals with the custody issues later on.
        Mom feels this is his last possible control issue, and he is
totally aware how committed she is to bf and mom said he *knows* she
would choose bf her child over any relationship (older daughter was
gently weaned at age 5 and this same dad *insisted* the mom offer to
nurse again b/c he thought giving it up was traumatic for the 5 yo... go
figure).  Sounds like a bad dream but I know this mother and it is
horrifying true.
        What can this mother do to refute this man's charges?  She feels
his past (documented) abuses have been diminished with this idea, and the
judge told her attorney today that she can grant custody to the parent
she feels is best suited...and the tone was *not* friendly--yikes!
        I have lots of Attachment Parenting material about extended bf,
it's the AIDS thing that needs a response.
Karen Zeretzke, MEd, IBCLC
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
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