While I believe absolutely that there is a physical difference between the
mother and baby who are breastfeeding and the mother and baby who gets that
milk in a bottle, I  am not willing to say to that mother that she is not a
breastfeeding mother.  Which means that I hold two somewhat opposing concepts
within my mind in regard to this discussion.

I cannot say to the mom of a neurologically-impaired infant that despite her
pumping her milk for a year and all her continued efforts over the months
that she is not a breastfeeding mother.  I cannot say that to a mother of
baby who had cleft lip and palate that never went to the breast.  I cannot
see their tears of grief over the loss of the breastfeeding relationship and
say to them you aren't or weren't a breastfeeding mother. I think language is
important. Our language is important to mothers.

I understand what most of you are saying and wonder if technicalities are
really that important?  I just read about an amazing teenager who was an
amputee (legs amputated just above the knees and her arms amputated just
above the elbows) who swam across Lake Erie.  She made it in 15 hours.  I
can't imagine what stroke she used or whether we could technically call it
swimming.  But by god she crossed that water in her own way and I for sure
would call it swimming.

I recognize that all of you that posted a response to my post had some very
profound things to say and you are right in your own way.  But I also believe
that those definitions are only useful in a research lab where those kind of
things are important. In the world where we interface with mothers and new
people in the lactation field, making such definitions may not lead to the
furthering of breastfeeding.  Instead it leads to mothers feeling significant
pain over things in life we sometimes have no control over.  And mothers
feeling not only failure in establishing a breastfeeding relationship with
their infants but feeling alienated from the very people who should be
supporting them.  Valerie W. McClain, IBCLC

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