Dear Becky, Your 2 messages set all my latent guilt-chords twanging. I
was very distressed that you interpreted our posts (mine included) as
"hostile". For my part, and I think that of others who voiced comments
similar to mine, we were trying to assert ourselves and grouse about
basic inconsideration. The toddler at the conference I attended (in Israel)
was SO disruptive that I would label his mother as being, AT THAT TIME,
non-nurturing. It was downright CRUEL to keep this active child sitting
down at what basically was a medical conference. I find it impossible to
believe that his mother got anything from the lecture, since virtually
everyone else in the audience missed about a half an hour of the
presentation. It was simply a ludicrous situation in my case, and I would
think that you would agree with me. BTW I also make quite a few trade-offs
and have to scrimp and save to attend the very VERY few conferences of
importance to me held in my part of the world, so I understand your
sacrifices, Becky. I hope that you understand MY annoyance when I can
FINALLY attend a conference featuring So-and-so as speaker on
Such-and-such topic, and then be unable to hear the famous Dr. X because
the stubborn mother three rows behind me insists on staying in the
lecture hall with her shreiking toddler who NEEDS HER ATTENTION. I'm
sorry if I offend you with this message, but at times (especially when I
have paid a lot of money, juggled family and work obligations,
"abandoned" nursing moms who need my support, and looked forward with
hand-rubbing anticipation to some conference), I can be REEEEEEAL selfish
and think, "Heck, I'm important, too".
Becky, your suggestions (and those of others) to have organized
babysitters provided at conferences, have sound piped in to bfing rooms,
etc. were absolutely on target. Instead of putting people on the defensive
(and putting bfing moms on the defensive REALLY gets me angry!), we should
all work with conference organizers to ensure optimal enjoyment and benefit
for everyone participating (and let's not forget the poor lecturer!)
Can we stay friends? Judy K