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Subject:
From:
Cathy Bargar <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Thu, 30 Sep 1999 09:20:44 -0400
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Elisheva's way of "introducing" her daughter to the bottle was very much
like my own approach with my twins; I had no extremely pressing "do or die"
agenda with them being able to have a bottle, as my work at that time was
very part-time and flexible and casual.

With twins, you have a kind of living laboratory right at hand for these
"experiments". What was so interesting to me in these maneuvers with
"introducing the bottle" was that one of them would eventually reluctantly
accept an occasional bottle feeding if I was not around. The other
*absolutely* refused to have anything to do with it, and to my knowledge has
never once in her life accepted a bottle. There was just absolutely
*nothing* we could do about it with her. Same techniques, same approach on
my part, wildly different results. Different kids, twins though they may be.

These differences in who they are have remained throughout their 18 (so far)
years. Molly, the one who could occasionally be "mollified" (ha-ha!) to
accept a feeding from a bottle, grew up to be the peacemaker, the
compromiser, the accomodater. Elizabeth (aka Liddy), the stalwart refuser,
remains unbendable from her purpose (whatever it may be at any given time) -
strong-willed, confrontational when it suits her purposes, determined to go
her own way no matter what, fiercely (even painfully) independent. (I've
always figured that it was partly their twin-ness that let them each be so
strongly herself - they have a built-in yin-yang thing, and their
differences have been complementary rather than oppositional.)

What's my point? Kids are different, and there's no one way that will work
for all of them. And, like most things involving raising children, it's more
effective to go at it with a light touch rather than a grim one. And really,
it's a kind of funny business, isn't it?

Cathy Bargar RN IBCLC Ithaca NY

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