I agree with Jaye.
Even if the MILs motives aren't what they should be, giving her accurate and
up-to-date information may help defuse the situation, while calling the
mother may make things worse.
I would have been thrilled if my mom had asked her questions of such a
knowledgeable body of professionals, instead of just repeating all the tales she
was told 30 years previously....
LLGWright
In a message dated 7/14/2008 5:05:45 P.M. Central Standard Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:
Date: Mon, 14 Jul 2008 14:08:37 -0700
From: "Jaye Simpson, IBCLC" <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Re: Wine and assumptions
Um.some assumptions are being made about a breach of privacy and the intent
of the grandma concerned. This bothers me - a lot and has left me very
uncomfortable. Now, I don't know so much about the breach of privacy, but
quite honestly, who of us hasn't taken the private life/situation of someone
else (friend, child, parent) to a friend or colleague who may have more
information on a subject we are concerned about? When we are concerned we
go to those we trust to help educate us. No names have been mentioned here
- none of us knows who this family is. So what is the problem? Would the
mother be upset that her mil was asking around for information? Maybe -
maybe not. We don't know. She might have encouraged grandma to do some
research for all we know. I think we need to give the benefit of the doubt
to grandma here rather than make an assumption about her motives -
especially since those assumptions come across as very sharp.
In my opinion, Grandma had a valid question and a valid concern. Why do I
validate this? Because, it is all too common to get mixed information about
alcohol and breastfeeding - or breastfeeding and anything - these days. One
Dr/book/professional/person says no don't drink, another says to drink dark
beer to increase supply. One says it's OK to drink a little during
pregnancy then other says absolutely no alcohol at all.who are we to
believe? The information is mixed and confusing to say the least. So what
is one to do? Keep their mouth shut and not educate themselves??
So grandma is concerned and asked an LC friend for input. The LC in
question wasn't sure, so came to HER group of professionals who could give
her the real information so she could be properly educated and could, in
turn properly educate her friend. I don't see a problem here. I don't see
any mention that grandma is faking altruistic behavior in order to get into
someone's business.
I hope that grandma gets the info that it is OK for mom to drink alcohol and
that eases her mind. I hope that grandma can go back to her son and say 'I
just wanted to thank you for giving me your information and I was so proud
to learn you were right - I learned something and it just shows me that you
really are doing a great job.' And hopefully, the son and dil will be OK
with everything and be happy that grandma cared enough to do some research.
This doesn't have to be a negative control issue - everyone has the
opportunity to learn here.if they choose to.
Warmly,
Jaye
Jaye Simpson, IBCLC, CIIM
Breastfeeding Network
Sacramento, CA
www.breastfeedingnetwork.net
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