Helena,
How about offering information and support?  I find that giving more
information, so the mother understands the cloices and issues, then
giving her control, allows her to stay empowered.  I favor a teamwork
approach with the parents.  I strive to come off just enough 'expert' to
allow the parents to trust my information in the sea of bf
misinformation while affirming the mother's insights and instincts.
Example "I notice you massaging your breast while Baby feeds.  Research
has shown that this helps babies get more calories."  Try to notice
everything they are doing right, and when you have to make corrections,
you might try something like "that position will be fine when Baby is
bigger and stronger.  Tiny babies need special support because.....",
something that lets the mother know she is not "wrong" but just needs
further information about her baby's special needs.
--
Catherine Watson Genna, IBCLC  NYC  [log in to unmask]