I should clarify what I said about mom thinking babe was angry and me
observing that she was hurting.  In 99% of the dyads I see, mom and baby
are not on the same team.  Mom either perceives baby as angry at her or
hating her or not liking her milk or her breasts.  Or, a hospital nurse has
informed mom that baby is lazy and/or stubborn.  Either way, learning to
nurse is a fight rather than a collaboration.

When I told the mom I thought the baby was hurting, and pointed out what
led me to believe that, mom's frame of reference changed immediately,
visibly, and she leaned over the baby, cuddled her closer, and said, "Oh,
my poor baby is hurting.  I'm so sorry, baby!  Mommy loves you and wants
you to feel better."  And then they were a team, and even though this will
likely take some time and CST to resolve, I feel hopeful that they are in a
better place to make decisions as a family now.

Took me hours to push the screaming out of my own head, though.  Can't
imagine being primally connected to a baby in so much pain.

Lynn Carter SFO LLLL IBCLC
Missouri, USA

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