I need the wisdom of this group, please.
First off let me explain that I am a 'never-stay-at-home' mom right now and
I am a RN by profession (worked in OB). My personal experience is I have
breastfed 3 children, one for 3 months (lack of knowledge and support), one
for 2 1/2 years and the current nursling is 14 months and going strong.
I have enjoyed Lactnet for several years now and have learned SO much,
probably too much which has fueled my passion/my mission.
That being said....we just moved out of state and started attending a new
church, a 'community' church which is a branch off of Southern Baptist. They
have no parenting classes currently BUT, on our first day attending church I
was discriminated against. Strong word I know, but this is how I felt. To
make it short-we were placing our 8 and 4 year olds in their bible classes
and the director *told* me where to put our then 12 month old. I nicely told
her he would stay with us in service, as he was too young to be apart. She
nicely argued with me that babies are distracting and they would only let
him cry 5-10 minutes and then get me. I was shocked. Worse though was when I
told her I would just nurse him in church and he would be an angel. She then
tells me to 'go to the nursing mothers room' or to the 'comfy couches in the
lobby'. I was more shocked! I asked her if this was church policy to tell
nursing moms to leave service. Anyway, she backtracked a lot when I asked
her if bottle-moms were able to stay and just nursing moms had to leave.
There was a lot more said, but I got my point across-I wasn't leaving him
with strangers. She gave me the preschool 'policy' book and it was pretty
damaging to nursing moms, 'we have a nursing room' is number 5, and 'babies
are distracting, it's better for them to be separated from moms early so
they get used to it' is number 6 or something. I was hot in the face and
stood my ground *nicely* but ever since I have had this burden on my
shoulders to do something about it.
Ok, speed up to today. I have had this feeling of a ton of bricks on my
shoulders about this. The pastor is GREAT, we don't want to leave this
church, but I feel strongly enough about this to do so if things don't
change. I had a dream last night relating to this and this morning, I
grabbed my stack of paperwork printed from kellymom's website about
breastfeeding in the church (fantastic site for church leaders and how
breastfeeding is spoken about in the bible). I told my husband that I would
know if it was time or not to give it to the pastor. Today the pastor spoke
about how God has a mission for every one of us, we need to listen to it and
do something about it. After service I walked up to him and handed him the
papers and said that I really needed him to read this and seriously consider
how important it is to God for parents to know this information .He agreed
to look through it and talk with me later.
Now is the time I need some help. IF he asks me how to help the parents
(there are tons of babies in this huge church, and I see bottles of I think
are breastmilk as it's white, but no nursing is going on), what do I do? I
have sooo much literature, research, books on breastfeeding but not
*teaching* classes or even one class. I want to make a difference, feel I
will make a big difference in these parents perceptions of breastfeeding. I
have a strong feeling that this church branched off of a former "Ezzo"
church, the way the preschool booklet is worded. Now is the time to change
things for the better.
Does Dr. Sears have a 'parenting' program that I can use or somehow get in
my church? What about Dr. Dobson? Anyone? I need a breastfeeding advocate
but also one who is a Christian, obviously.
Thank you for reading this long message, and for any help you may offer.
Please write to me personally-
[log in to unmask]
Heather Davis
www.babyknowsbreast.com
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