Ruthy,
I'm so sorry this happened to you; it is exactly what I fear for myself,
because the local hospital climate is similar to yours.  It is a shame
and a travesty that so many of the staff have jumped to conclusions. We
have yet to understand that there are most likely comcomittant risks with
solo sleep for infants, and that the crib is not statistically safer than
the parental bed.  The risk factors you listed included: premature birth,
smoking and alcohol, and as I recall, premature birth and smoking are BIG
risk factors.  Rolling over on the baby might possibly have occurred if
the mother was under the influence of alcohol, or something like that,
but you have taught the proper caveats.

If a baby were found dead in a crib, prone position, would the mother be
told that it was her fault, that she killed her own baby? Would the staff
be held liable for not getting through to the mom that solo sleep is
safest with back lying position? Why should you be liable for promoting
co-sleeping with proper caveats, if the mother possibly did not follow
them?  I realize you don't know for sure yet what happened, but
still........... to make such assumptions!

I hope a careful autopsy is done, and that the mother is also screened
for substances.  It is unfortunate that there is a contingent who would
gladly take such a case, without a full investigation, and use it to
suppress a tradition practiced for millenia. Babies die sometimes,
period.  Sad, but true. And parents don't always do what they are
"supposed" to do to create safe environments.

Hang in there, Ruthy.  I know how hard this must be for you right now.

-Lisa Marasco, BA, IBCLC