I think the reactons to this post (and others) have 2 lessons for us.
1 - When" thinking out loud" on line, be aware that others reading your post may 
see it very differently and read into it things you never intended.  Of course, 
if you wait until you mull over all possible reactions, you lose the initial 
inspiration.
2 - On the other hand, when responding to a post that offends you, try to see 
what the real point is that the poster had in mind before firing off an angry 
(or at least offended) reaction.  Then try to respons with something like: "I 
think I know what you were trying to say, but it struck me very differently...."

In our faith (Baha'i) decision making uses a process of consultation in which 
one principle is that to have a free flow of ideas when discussing any concern, 
people need to be ale to express their thoughts without fear of being attacked 
for expressing an idea.  Therefore, once stated, it belongs to the group, not 
the individual.  If it is picked apart, the original person does not take 
offense since it is no longer "his thought".  In addition, the person originally 
expressing the idea is free to also comment in any way about it-no need to feel 
one must defend their idea to the end.  Frequently, an idea or thought that 
comes across as wierd initially may stimulate a brilliant thought from others in 
the group.

Perhaps we should take a similar approach in our discusions on Lactnet.  If 
everyone feels free to express an idea without fear that it will be attacked or 
a minor aspect will be blown out of proportion (I've seen this happen a lot and 
know that some are reluctant to post for this reason), who knows what brilliant 
subsequent ideas may emerge.  Let's remember to critique the idea, not the 
person posting it.

Winnie Mading

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