If mom can handle it, it might be good "therapy" to review what happened
with her first baby. First of my list would be a thorough health history,
looking for any red flags. It is always difficult to trust in a mysterious
process, but if you can deduce what might have gone wrong, it may help to
narrow down some fears.

BTW-- whatever I may conclude, I *always* frame it in such a way as to not
lay guilt upon the mom. I just had a mom in yesterday whose baby had not
gained in a week and was flagged by ped; baby was nursing only 4-5 times a
day, and mom was following baby's passive cues. As the realization of what
was happening sank in and her tears began to flow, I pointed out to mom how
easy it was to be misled by her baby's behavior, especially since this
particular little one exhibited lots of long jaw excursions (most of which
were not swallows). I do *anything* I can to deflect feelings of guilt while
illuminating truth.

Perhaps renting a scale might be really good so that she can see what is
getting into baby?

Again, the key phrase is "if mom can handle it." I do think that it would be
beneficial for *someone* to sit down with this mom at some point and at
least broach the topic of her fears from her past loss. This is a scary time
for these moms, and she may need help in verbalizing the fear and grief that
is surely lurking below the surface.

Lisa Marasco, BA, IBCLC

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