Hi All,
I have successfully nursed 4 children well past the stage of teething. My
first 2 sons nursed to 22 and 17 months respectively and self-weaned back in
the late 80's. My third didn't want to stop nursing at the age of 5 years
old (in 1997), but I was worried about him "remembering" breastfeeding (what
a tragedy right?) when older or "talking about it" at school. The legal
aspect of "abuse" is what was worrying me at that time since I had heard of a
few legal battles labeling long-term breastfeeding as abusive (which I didn't
agree with, but I was fearful nonetheless. My husband was also worried when
he saw how long my third son continued at the breast until I read a few posts
on Lactnet about long-term breastfeeding and lightened up my position
(husband followed me in that newer more relaxed position). These posts
probably gave my son close to another year of breastfeeding when I am sure I
would have forced him to stop sooner, especially seeing my husband's
discomfort. I have a 4th son who is only 18 months younger than my 3rd and
so I did tandem nurse both of them for about 4 1/2 years. I weaned my 3rd
with a bit of prompting (again, the age thing...couldn't get past it
completely) just before his 6th birthday. My 4th son, who is now 5 1/2 years
old and still nursing 1 to 3 times per day (though he did forget about
nursing for 2 days when our new pool was finished, but has since remembered!)
just pulled his first tooth out the other day. He tried to get my nipple
into this new-found gap :) I did have to ask him to stop LOL Since it was
my 3rd that was fond of sticking things up his nose, I guess I'm happy he
didn't get the same idea about filling his gaps :D
By the way, I'm not watching the calendar this time and again, it's thanks to
all of the sharing and support on Lactnet. I have recently been seeing many
posts from women nursing their 5 to 6 year olds or recalling memories of
doing that and it's helped me to realize just how much I have let other's
opinions guide my own beliefs (for shame!). I can still see how my now 7
year old looks at the breast as if longing sometimes, but he'll brush off the
idea of nursing and make a joke or playfully touch my breasts and giggle.
That also concerned me. I was afraid he would do that to another woman and
possibly upset her (again this lawsuit-happy culture worries me). I have
since been told by an LC friend of mine that he would probably only do that
with me...and not to worry, he'll grow out of it. So far, she's right.
Sad how society can make a perfectly normal act feel like something you
should be "worried" about....worried for the child, worried about the way
others will perceive your act of love for your child.... It makes me think
if this can affect me in such a way, and I support breastfeeding for a
living, how much harder is it for the moms out there who don't have all of
the information and experience I have. It's no wonder so many quit
breastfeeding so soon with all of the opinions and finger-pointing both real
and imagined that we face everyday to conform to what the majority sees as
"right". There's a time and a place for everything. Breastfeeding shouldn't
be the forum where the majority has final say on how long a mother and child
engage in this loving and beautiful art, unless of course, it's an informed
majority!
Hindsight can be cruel sometimes, but all we can do is try to help others
with what we've learned.
Veronica Scott,
Breastfeeding Peer Counselor Coordinator, WIC
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