Interesting views on truth telling from several people.


I think it is perfectly possible to 'meet the mother where she is' or 
(in the terms of the organisation I work with), 'be mother-centred' 
without ducking the responsibility of being honest....indeed, I think 
it is unethical not to be honest.

We *often* get asked directly and indirectly the question which is 
(in whatever words the mother uses) 'I am thinking of giving formula 
to my baby - is that ok?'

We *could* immediately say 'no' or 'why?' but instead, we train our 
workers to listen to mothers and to share with them what we know in a 
way that enables them to make their own decisions.

So, for example, when presented with that question I say something 
like, 'many mothers ask that, and as you know, a lot of mothers do 
give formula, though you probably know there is an impact on a baby's 
health and nutrition doing this.....I'm wondering if that's why you 
asked the question?' They probably say yes to that, and maybe expand 
a bit on it,  and/or say they want to know if they can continue 
breastfeeding alongside the formula.

That leads to a dialogue, not a lecture, and I do say to everyone at 
some point, 'the best health outcomes in babies are seen when they're 
breastfed exclusively to six months' and I might add, 'but in some 
circumstances that can be a challenge....is that the case for you, do 
you think?'

Sometimes, the mother will say, 'so are you saying I am going to harm 
my baby if I give formula?' which leads to another dialogue where I 
explain no one can predict outcomes in any one individual baby, and 
that studies show degrees  of risk, rather than absolutes.

The tone of voice is really important, I find, and being patient and 
allowing silence for thought.....my aim is for the mother to make a 
decision for herself, and not to go away believing I told her to 
do/not do anything. I hope that decision is not to use formula, but 
hey, it's her baby......I want her to know the possible impact of her 
decision, whatever it is.

Heather Welford Neil
NCT bfc, tutor UK

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