Helen,
>Yes, many teens do have a starry-eyed view of babies and motherhood. So do
>many older women. So what?

I totally agree with you. Teens live in the world and they see adults
struggling for years on infertility treatments and doing virtually
anything for a baby. They see us cooing over babies and giving up
everything else in our lives to have one, and then we say that it's
horrible and they wouldn't want to do it. Excuse me?

I would strongly recommend any of you that have time to do a search on
teen pregnancy on the WWW - I did and it was a true education. One of
the points that teens themselves frequently bring up is the sheer
hypocrisy of such schemes. I was shocked to read that when teens meet
teenage mothers, in those programs to educate them as to "what it's
really like", they tend to admire the teen mother as a suffering heroine
- the impoverished Madonna who has sacrificed her life for her child.
They see it as something to *aspire* to! So many of these schemes are
backfiring (one even resulted in an *increased* teen pregnancy rate).
Kind of suggests to me that our approach is all wrong...not that I am
saying I have the answers either.

I also wonder about the emphasis, on what I personally would consider
"detached" parenting, that teens are taught in these programs. Babies
are presented as a burden and there is a lot of talk about the
difficulty of making up feeds and "getting up for night feeds"
(personally, I just roll over on my side for "nightfeeds"). When I was
training as a nurse, a few years ago, I remember vividly having to do a
project to work out how cheaply we could buy "essential" baby equipment.
Our list included a crib, bottles, sterilizer, a baby carriage, baby
walker and pacifiers. FWIW, when I finally did become a mother myself, I
didn't use any of this stuff. Purely for the sake of balance, I think
teens should be taught about Attachment Parenting. It's cheaper, apart
from anything else! :-)

One major concern I have about the "Baby Think it Over" is that real
babies are human beings, not mechanical devices that annoy you. Real
babies have feelings and their social needs are nearly as important as
the physical needs. I think teens would be less inclined to get pregnant
if they really understood that bringing a baby into the world is
bringing a new person into the world.
--
Anna H.
mailto: [log in to unmask]
http://www.ratbag.demon.co.uk/anna/

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