I find myself in a quandary -

I am the daughter of a statistician who read and carefully raised "a la
Spock" in the 40s and was placed in a crib or playpen at specific schedules
- much like Ezzo's system of today.  That was the way I thought you raised
kids.

My exposure to other views was gradual - learning some in college -
observing La Leche League group mothers during my pregnancy - going to
conferences.  Had someone NOT said "babies don't need schedules" I would
not have searched for what worked for me - I would have just done what my
culture had taught me.  Had someone NOT said "babies don't need to sleep 8
uninterrupted hours - you can respond to your baby's needs."  I would have
let him cry it out as my mom told me she did with me (She reported how I
cried so hard I would throw up...then she'd feed me another bottle of
"formula" and put me back.)

It is one thing to respect a mother's decision ... and another to offer her
information about a different way of handling her situation.  This takes
tact, knowledge on human behavior, the ability to read unspoken messages,
and the ability to share ideas without sounding like "you do it my way or
you are WRONG, WRONG, WRONG".

We must walk this fine line almost throughout our visits - whether at home,
in office or hospital setting or in groups.

However, if you don't know there's another way of dealing with a situation
- how are you going to actually choose freely?

Mothers should know that SOME people choose attachment parenting, no
bottles, co-sleeping...and these are reasonable options that others have
chosen and can work for her IF she chooses them.

Jeanette Panchula, BSW, RN, PHN, IBCLC
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