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Subject:
From:
Julieanne Hensby <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Sun, 3 May 2009 00:50:27 -0400
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Hi Everyone

When I saw the title of the article below on the cover of a widely-read
Sunday magazine, my first thoughts were "Great, some positive media
coverage". Then I read it. 

To tell you the truth, I'm so sick of all this crap - this article is so
wrong on so many levels I don't know where to begin to even respond - all I
can see at the moment is imagining myself picketing on the footpath outside
Sydney Town Hall!!

The rational and irrational parts of my brain are warring...settle...breathe...

Feedback to the magazine only allows for about 100 words max so it would
have to be extremely succinct.

Any suggestions apart from ...no, I better not print that!

OK I feel a bit better now...going to have a nap and 'round my little life
off with a sleep'.

If you would like to respond by email:
[log in to unmask]
OR snail mail:
Sunday Life
GPO Box 506
Sydney  NSW 2001
(Australia)

And so it goes on...Julieanne

Article from Sunday Life Magazine, the Sun-Herald Magazine, 03 May 2009

ON FRONT COVER OF MAGAZINE:  Is breastfeeding best for mother, too?

Following is the entire body of the article:

Breastfeeding is meant to be life-giving, but Rebecca xxxxxxx says the
pressure to get it right can suck the life out of mothers.  

I was in the hospital for a week after I had my daughter Sofia. Each day,
several times a day, I would wander down the hall to make myself a cup of
tea in the common room. I would dunk my green-tea bag in a soulless mug and
stare at this one poster on the wall. It was a very large poster. It was
impossible not to see it when you entered the room. The poster listed "101
reasons to breastfeed" in a forceful black-and-white design.

This poster told me things I already believed. Various organisations, such
as UNICEF and the World Health Organisation, recommend breast over bottle
for babies. Breastfeeding is a cheap and easy way to feed your child. Breast
milk is the best form of infant nutrition. Breastfeeding helps mothers lose
the excess weight gained during pregnancy.

The poster also told me some new things. Breastfeeding satisfies babies'
emotional needs, promoting bonding between mother and child. Formula feeding
increases a baby's chance of developing a terrifying menu of diseases, as
well as exposing them to a greater risk of dying of SIDS or becoming obese,
whereas breastfeeding helps to protect a child against developing asthma,
allergies and vision defects. Apparently, formula feeding is associated with
lower IQ as well.

Suffice to say, I reread the poster every day of my hospital stint. It was
meant to be encouraging, but to this new mother it was a daily reminder that
I was failing in my job after only a week of employment. My mind flashed
forward to images of me and Sofia, both unbound and bloated; her with low IQ
and bad eyesight, me with developing breast tumours.

I am overdramatising, of course, as new mothers sometimes do. However, the
thing that irked me about that poster was that I didn't need convincing that
breastfeeding was the way to go. I'd joined the association, read the books,
scrubbed my nipples weekly with a toothbrush. But try as I could, with all
the goodwill in the world, I had a terrible time with breastfeeding. Even
now, I can hardly recall the pain of childbirth but can vividly remember the
pain inflicted by my daughter's pitiless little mouth.

Now no one likes to read about breasts over Sunday brunch (unless they
belong to Jessica Alba). But less than an hour after my daughter's birth, I
tried to breastfeed, only to have her suck my nipples so hard they were
badly damaged. We weren't mastering the "latching on" process I had read so
much about. As we waited for my nipples to heal so we could try again, I
kept my milk up and fed my baby as much as the midwife's pinching fingers
and the breast pump could provide. I slathered myself in balms and applied
cold packs. I pumped so much I overstimulated one breast and got mastitis. 
As painful and frustrating as it was, I wanted to keep going, not least
because the midwives kept telling me: "Just when you think you want to give
up, that's when it will start to work!"

The nipples got better and we tried again, without much success. A shield
was brought in, which looked not unlike the fake nipples Samantha uses as a
man-lure in Sex And The City. It provided temporary relief. Then just as I
thought we had found the solution, the pain returned, even with the shield.
I peeled back the plastic one afternoon to see what looked like blood
blisters forming.

The breaking point for me was one night when Sofia was crying and needed a
feed. My husband brought her over to me, but as he went to place her in my
arms my whole torso convulsed away from her. "Just get her away!" I thought
to myself. I realised at that moment that breastfeeding, something I thought
would bring us closer together, was driving us apart. So I relented, we gave
her some formula and she drifted off to sleep in my arms.

I can't pretend that I didn't feel guilty about the choice I made. It took
me some time to get over it. Some would describe it as a "selfless" mothers
are not supposed to do. What helped, though, was reviewing the research on
breastfeeding and discovering that the benefits it is supposed to bestow on
the baby - better skin, higher IQ, preventing obesity - are not as clear-cut
as we've been led to believe. Continuing to breastfeed because of such
studies seemed a tenuous reason when the process was making both of us
miserable.

Even now, I feel guilty when I consider the few nice things about not having
to breastfeed ("Your turn to do the 2am, darling"). In the months after
Sofia's birth, I would only admit such things in hushed tones to other,
sympathetic mothers.
But I can say now that I have made peace with the decision, because I know
it is one of a thousand I will make as a mother, and by no means the most
important one. The past year of my daughter's life has been challenging and
at times tiring, but the issues my husband and I have faced have also been
relatively simple. As children get older, the job of parenting gets harder.

If I am lucky enough to have another child, I will give breastfeeding a
red-hot go until, well, I can't stand my breasts being red and hot any more.
And, more importantly, if I feel it works for me as well as my baby. Put
that on a poster.

             ***********************************************

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