It sounds to me like everyone is very angry.  We LCs are angry  
because mothers come to us having suffered greatly physically and  
emotionally, and babies have been separated from the comfort of their  
mothers and subjected to pain and distress.  Childbirth in the  
medical model is destroying mothers and babies in order to save  
them.   Doctors are angry because after devoting around a decade of  
their life and tens of thousands of dollars in education, they are  
treated by many breastfeeding advocates as ignorant at best and  
malicious at worst.  Mothers are angry for obvious reasons.

However, we are all on the same team, and we want the same things --  
health and happiness for mothers and babies, and for ourselves.  It  
is imperative that we let go of our anger and work for solutions.   
Blaming each other is not a solution, whether it's blaming mothers  
for giving up too soon, blaming doctors for trying to save mothers  
from sinking into PPD from endless pumping and more separation from  
baby as Grandma finger-feeds while mom is stuck to the pump, blaming  
other LCs for not being as up on the research as they should be,  
etc.  In the litigious climate in the US, many HCPs are also trying  
to save themselves and their families from the agony of a malpractice  
lawsuit, and who can blame them?  I certainly don't want to lose my  
house and my savings.  The buck rests with the doctor, so we need to  
appreciate why they sometimes jump to formula too soon.  If there is  
a solution, we need to let the doctor know that we are on their side  
and want to help.  Some doctors will not be able to get over their  
mistrust, but I believe that over time they will come to see the  
value of our expertise.  They will not see our value if we are angry  
at them and demand that they see the error of their ways.

It is SO HARD not to sink into anger and despair as we see mother  
after mother cut open and having her dignity and sovereignty over  
herself and her baby taken away.  But we must not waste time being  
angry; it does no good and only harms our cause and turns people  
against us.  I just keep coming back to the civil rights movement.   
African Americans had every reason to be angry and want to destroy  
the whole power structure.  But they didn't.  They looked at their  
oppressors in the eye, and asked them to join the movement for peace  
and brotherhood.  I don't want to sound like the Onion article "In  
College I Marched Against Racism -- And It Worked"; I am just saying  
that we need to learn from their courage and invite people to join  
the cause of protecting breastfeeding, not fall into the trap of  
feeling that we are good and they are evil.  I have never met anyone  
in health care who goes to work every day thinking "how can I butcher  
mothers and babies today?"  People who don't know what we know need  
education, compassion, recognition for the good they ARE doing and to  
be shown the way to do better.  You can stand back and rage at them  
to come to our side, or you can walk over where they are, take them  
by the hand and walk with them to our side -- the side of respecting  
women, men, doctors, babies, and all people.

If I am wrong about this, I welcome dissenting opinions.  Honestly, I  
just hate all this fighting because I feel it wastes energy, hurts  
feelings, and does not convince people that breastfeeding is great  
and that LCs are confident and secure in our knowledge that we have  
important information to share that will benefit mothers, babies,  
families, HCPs, communities, the world.  I personally came into this  
profession with a huge chip on my shoulder about how mothers and  
babies had been screwed.  And they have been.  I know where you are  
coming from if you are seriously pissed off at the health care system  
and everyone in it.  The system is severely broken, for everyone.

To win for mothers and babies, however, we need to make allies of  
Grandmas who formula fed, mothers' friends who are currently formula  
feeding, husbands who love and respect their own mothers who formula  
fed them, doctors who want the best for their patients but don't know  
and don't have time to learn about breastfeeding because they are too  
busy saving lives and dealing with insurance companies' attempts to  
cut their pay, and anyone else who is currently unaware or incapable  
of protecting, supporting, and promoting breastfeeding.

I have so much more to say on this topic, but I don't want to clutter  
up the list too much.  As the kids say, "peace out."

Warmly,
Lynnette Hafken, MA, Mom of 3, LLLL, IBCLC in PP

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