>I'd love to hear more about how you did this. I get tense whenever I
>suspect a mother is using this method, and I really, really want to be
>accepting, compassionate, empathetic .... and still point out the
>disadvantages tactfully. Is saying "Studies have shown that babies do
>best when we respond to their early feeding cues" enough to say? What
>did you say, and how did they respond?

I'm afraid that I am not particularly "accepting, compassionate, and
empathetic." Actually, that's not true. I am compassionate, but I do also
feel that since the programs will most likely not have an outcome that most
parents want for their children, it is my responsibility to tell the
truth--as I see it.  I do assure them that it is their baby and the final
decision is theirs, and I want to give them information that they may not
have encountered regarding Babywise and Whisperer or any other programming.

I spend a good half hour, at least, presenting what I know about
programming infants to override their natural appestats, sleep needs, and
emotional needs. I also point out the adversarial atmosphere between
parents and child that is created with such programs. I relate cases of
infants that I have worked with who had serious negative outcomes with the
Babywise program. And they are not all failure to thrive cases or even low
weight gain cases. There was one serious emotional-deprivation case.

I take all of this seriously, and I do know that many new parents are
wanting some sure guidelines to compensate for their lack of confidence in
their own abilities. I recommend Dr. Sears' The Baby Book as an
alternative. I tell them that Bill and Martha Sears see parents and their
children as being on the same side.

Not all of us will handle this issue with parents in the same way. We each
need to do it *our* way, as we do all of our LC work. I'm sure that some
parents don't heed my warning, but at least I have said my truth.

Have I shared with you "Living a Life"?  I don't know whom to credit for
it, but it is a guide for me.

Show up.
Pay attention.
Tell the truth.
And let go of the outcome.

Pat Gima, IBCLC
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Mailto:[log in to unmask]

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