I've been giving moral support to a friend during her son's sudden and very
unhappy BF strike.  I don't think that is the right name for it because he
seemed so obviously out of sorts, with swollen gums, and fretfulness, and a
doc who even said he has pneumonia (didn't look like that to me, but I am
not a doctor) and prescribed antibiotics.
She phoned for help treating her very engorged breasts two days into the
moratorium.  Never adept at hand expression and with much engorgement
because he was an eager, many-times-a-day nurser until he suddenly stopped
cold turkey last week, she came over and I helped her express until she was
physically comfortable.  Emotionally she was a wreck, very sad at the
thought that their BF relationship could be over, and this wasn't how she
wanted it to go.  But he could hardly look at her without screaming, and
absolutely refused to be near her breasts, preferring to cry himself to
sleep on father's chest.  Mother is still quite preoccupied since the
terrorist attacks, which affected many people in her extended family
(colleagues and friends of theirs were killed).  She couldn't bear the
thought of losing this relationship on top of everything else lately.
This is the same child who had a nice long feed in our town church on Friday
Sept. 14 after the memorial 3 minutes of silence.  I have had occasion to
help my friend through several trying times before, once at the beginning
with the very welcome help of Jean Cotterman, and I was feeling as sad as
she was at the thought that this could be the end.  I also could not believe
that he was truly ready to wean, after being with them less than a week
before and seeing what a nursling he was.
Then, he broke out in sores all over the inside of his mouth and on his
tongue, but started wanting to drink water from his sister's bottle.  This
almost confirmed my friend's fear that he was moving on, and wouldn't be
back.  But I took it as a sign that there was a physical reason for the
breast refusal.
Thanks to several Lactnet contacts, notably Diane Wiessinger, I felt
confident enough to encourage her to keep expressing, and keep offering the
breast as always, and ALWAYS respecting him if he declined.
Today I was away from home all day, but came home to find an exuberant
message on my answering machine: he started BFing again yesterday after a
week of refusing, was wanting it 'all the time' and seems to be determined
to get production back up to pre-crisis levels as soon as possible.  The
sores in his mouth are gone.
I haven't worked with many children this age who have refused to breastfeed,
where mothers had a strong desire to continue.  I am so happy for her that
her patience and understanding bore fruit, that I wanted to share it with
all of you.
Rachel Myr
Norway

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