Thanks for this clarification, Liane!   I can imagine how stressful it must
be to be trying to help from a distance and not getting any confirmation or
reinforcement from the other people involved.   I'm sorry if it came across
as a verbal spanking, it was not meant to be one.  I share the concerns
voiced by other posters on this thread, also those who have posted in
response to your last post.

I don't know what the regulations are where you live, but I would be
concerned about liability despite giving faultless advice, as long as there
is any doubt about the accuracy and/or truthfulness of the information you
are getting from the mother about the other people involved in her and her
baby's care. Since you haven't seen the baby yourself, and all the
information you are getting is very alarming, there is doubt about whether
the people actually seeing the baby are really saying what the mother is
telling you they're saying.  I know I would really want to verify that she
had indeed been to her doctor, been followed by her midwife, and been to the
pediatric gastroenterologist - because if she had, and the doctors' advice
to her was as she told you, they should also be reported to the relevant
bodies for supervision/regulation of health professionals.  You might also
learn that she is telling the doctors and the midwife things about what you
have said to her that differ drastically from what you have said.

I don't usually find myself giving CYA advice, sort of like you don't
usually find yourself being the one to advocate supplementing with formula.
My hunch is that your gut feeling about this one was bad, and part of what
you wanted from the list was confirmation of that - and did you ever get
it!  It helps for me to know you have been tired when posting, and I'm not
surprised. It's exhausting when you know something not right is going on and
you aren't able to influence it the way you want.

I don't think it would be considered unethical for you to let this mother
know you can't continue to consult with her without being able to talk to
the other clinicians she is seeing, because it isn't safe care.  I
reiterate: if she hesitates to let you talk to them, I'd be highly
suspicious that she either isn't seeing anyone or she isn't being forthright
with you about what they have said to her, and she may be playing you all
off against one another to justify her own failure to see to it that her
baby gets enough food.  She could also simply be following really bad,
uninformed advice from people who shouldn't be let anywhere near newborn
babies.  Why not talk to them and find out which it is?

We'll all be very relieved when you can report that the baby is showing some
catch-up growth, about as relieved as I'm sure you'll be yourself!

Rachel Myr
Kristiansand, Norway, where I'm sitting up late to get running updates on
the bombing of the gov't office building in Oslo and the fatal shootings of
at least ten young people at summer camp Friday, which seems to have more in
common with the Oklahoma City bombing nearly 20 years ago than with more
recent acts of international terror  :-(

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