"You've got to stop breastfeeding the world and take care of you."

This was the subtitle of a piece (http://www.womansday.com/olivia) about
Olivia Newton-John's fight with breast cancer. Laura Hart found it strange
and asked what we think.

I think *breastfeeding* is a metaphor here for the way that many of us women
relate to the other people and projects in our lives...taking care of other
people, taking care of other things, not putting ourselves and our needs
first. It could have read "You've got to stop mothering the world" and meant
the same thing...but since the subject's personal need was to cope with
breast cancer, breastfeeding was an obvious choice for the writer of the
title.

To me, this metaphoric use of "breastfeeding" is a positive thing. If people
can talk about breastfeeding and use the word to make an unrelated point,
then it has become part of the group consciousness. It's a normal part of
life. It's a thing women do. No big deal.

I do detect a shade of negative meaning. Breastfeeding could be seen as a
drain, as something you do for others, not for yourself. This is a common
perception, and in some senses it is accurate. Breastfeeding does use time
and energy--important resources that no woman has in infinite supply. BUT
breastfeeding is also a way to relate to another important person, a way to
build trust, a way to smooth the way through the days and nights with your
child. For many mothers, breastfeeding is something we do to make mothering
easier. It gives us time to rest, time to focus, time to restore ourselves
in the context of the mother-child relationship that is at the core of who
we are. 

I wonder about the experience of other women who have had chronic or severe
illnesses. I haven't been there, but my guess is that breastfeeding is the
LAST thing I would want to give up. I would want to have help with all the
really hard parts of childrearing, the heavy lifting, the repetitive tasks
of providing goods and services, the dozens of daily decision points...but I
would want to hang on to the refuge of breastfeeding, the one thing (in the
absence of a wet-nurse) that my child could do only with me. 

Chris

Chris Mulford, RN, IBCLC
LLL Leader Reserve
working for WIC in South Jersey (Eastern USA)
Co-coordinator, Women & Work Task Force, WABA
 
 

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