Speaking as one of those members of the much maligned medical community 
(tongue firmly in check):

The "why" and telling the truth dialogue has been very interesting.

Yes, "why" can be a very direct and off putting word for some.   In some 
cultures direct questioning is not responded to at all (person may shut down or 
politely shake head to give the appearance of acknowledgment).

Being the "bearer of the truth" can be a very loaded position.   The approach 
and attitude might be perceived as one trying to correct an errant child 
rather than provide an adult with information to make their own decisions.

Bottom line, I know that even in my position as a physician, the best I can 
do is provide information about healthy choices so that my parents can make the 
best decision for their families.   Unfortunately oftentimes those choices 
may conflict with my personal knowledge and values.   Yes, in extreme cases 
(such as where there is physical abuse and neglect), I have the obligation to 
report that to other agencies.   But most of the time, it is my playing a 
balancing act to keep the family engaged and continue to learn how best to communicate 
with them.   Going for the long term relationship.

Choosing my words and battles more carefully these days,

Best,

Pierrette Mimi Poinsett, MD FAAP
Modesto CA (to be from Petaluma CA as of 3/3/06)

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