I decided I was going to go back to informed consent when I talk about
pacifiers. Mothers and dads have reacted very positively (read, decreased
use) when I give my spiel:


All babies need to suck.  It helps them to organize themselves
neurologically - ie they can get themselves calmed down, especially when you
"hold them together" at the same time.  Throughout most of human history,
the only safe thing to suck on was your mom - or another woman who was
around to help nurture you.

In utero, many babies use their fingers or fists to suck.  I once saw a baby
who looked nipple-confused at his second nursing: he had a hickey on his
wrist and was smackling (my own word!) on his mom's breast just like he was
back at the wrist! So if babies do it before they're even born, you know
it's important to them.

Our society often uses a pacifier to calm babies down.

All three of these are valid choices.  I prefer to see little babies doing
their sucking at the breast - that way you'll over-calibrate your supply a
bit in these early days. Most experienced breastfeeding moms we see here in
the hospital nurse their babies all the time -- you even hear the nurses
say, "Oh, it's her second, the kid's just on the boob all the time." So you
can see that's the nurse's opinion. But babies grow very well and your milk
supply will come in bountifully when you do that.

Some people think thumbsucking is very cute and some of the books suggest
you teach your baby to find her thumb - you can't lose it like you can a
pacifier. Of course most of us know a teenager who's still sucking a thumb.
But it is a choice.

Some people prefer pacifiers. You need to be careful if you decide to use a
pacifier. The first reason is a lot of people use it as a plug: the baby
needs to nurse, but they are putting it off. How could a baby want to eat
THAT OFTEN! But they want the sucking and loving, not just the milk.  We've
all seen four year olds with pacifiers. Or the kids that have one in their
mouths and one rubbing their nose.  And most everybody picks up the pacifier
off the floor and puts it in their mouth to clean it before they give it
back to their baby!

So if you decide to use a pacifier use it wisely: you are positive the baby
is gaining weight well, you hold the baby while the pacifier is in the
baby's mouth, you plan to get rid of the pacifier by about three months.

Parents react positively to this information. You've given them the scoop,
usually given them a chance to laugh, and really it does delineate the
choices. Then when people say, "Don't let that baby use you as a pacifier"
they can make all those snappy Lactnut comebacks!

My own experience? I used a pacifier with the first and starved her. My
second was drowned with my OALR and sucked her thumb for comfort (still
does, just made the equestrian team at college and better quit before she
gets a patient with c. diff  in nursing school). My third was happy at the
breast and that was that.

Dawn Kersula in So VT
...this is the way I would talk it to a mom or dad, so there's no
references!

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