In a message dated 4/27/03 8:25:51 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:

> When a mother expresses a desire to breastfeed, yet is reluctant to feed her
> babies, that suggests to me that there is some emotional issue going on
> that
> she needs some help with. Perhaps she feels overwhelmed by having twins,
> perhaps she has had conflicted relationship with her mother for a long time
> and is unhappy about being in the "mother role" because of that, perhaps
> she
> feels too needy herself to meet the needs of her babies. It might be
> helpful
> to talk with her about those feelings - to find out what she is feeling
> when
> the baby gives hunger cues or time for a scheduled feeding and she is
> unwilling to feed the  baby. Exploring those feelings with her might give
> you some insights as to how to help her overcome them. I think that without
> that exploration, these babies may be at risk of neglect no matter how they
> are fed.
>

A good lead in question for this conversation may be, "I/the nurses keep
hearing you say you want to breastfeed your babies, but your actions seem to
disagree with your words... (pregnant pause)." If she asks what is meant by
"actions," fill in with examples.

I've used this kind of lead in often, and it is usually very helpful. Many
times a mother hadn't realized her words and actions were incongruent, and it
has been a real "aha" for her--especially when she figures out the source of
the incongruency on her own. And as Teresa noted, there's usually some
underlying emotional issue(s).

KKG

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