Laurie says:
"On a related note, many many mothers state they will be doing
breast and
bottle. They are bf once or twice a day and giving formula the rest.

Sometimes they had bf in delivery first or attempted, then begin
formula.
More often they initiate bf after a night or day of formula feeding.
I
usually have many of these each week. Here is a situation where
counseling
skills and meeting the mom where she is can be difficult for the LC.
But the
song DO NOT JUDGE would still apply and the "many mothers have
found" would
work too."

A number of years ago I heard a doctor talk about her success in
getting teen moms to breastfeed.  She would ask each expectant mom,
"What are your plans for breastfeeding your baby?".  No matter what
the response, even if the mother stated,"I'm going to bottle feed
instead."  The doc would respond with, "That's an excellent plan."
and then go on to talk about breastfeeding in relation to that
plan.  When a mom would say she planned to do both, her response
(after the "excellent plan" statement)would be to encourage mom to
start with the breastfeeding part and once that was extablished, to
introduct the bottle feeding part of the plan.  Now this doc was all
for exclusive breastfeeding and she would hope to gently guide each
mom at least more in that direction than her original plan.  It was
her model of acceptance as the first prerequisite was what really
stuck with me.  I try to use it particularly with the many moms who
come with the "both" plan, expecially when the reason given is so
"dad can be involved in the feeding.

My initial gut reaction is something like, "Oh great, here's another
one where mom will sacrifice breastfeeding so dad can have his
"equal experience" and before you know it, she'll be giving all the
bottles anyway!"  I swallow that reaction and then say something
like, "You certainly can do that.  We find babies do best to learn
the skills one at a time.  First the basic breastfeeding skill and
once that is established, then you can teach variations if you need
to.  In the meantime, here are some other ways dad can be involved
with and bond with the baby......."  I also like the approach dad is
first person to teach baby love doesn't always have to come with
food attached (I think that came from Pat Gime-thanks-it gets a lot
of "aha" reactions).  Hopefully, at least some will decide by the
time that 3-4 week mark comes up that bottle doesn't have to be part
of their feeding/bonding experience.  If not, at least baby has had
the benefit of a few weeks of exclusive breastfeeding more that he
would have had if both had been used from day one.

Winnie

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