Hello all,

I just wanted to share a long not-so funny story that happened to me recently.

Most American military bases have a program designed for expecting
parents to educate them about having a baby. We have one here and I
had been playing tag with the department who runs it (It's called
Bundles for Babies (BfB) to try to get to speak at it about the weekly
breastfeeding group I facilitate, that we'd be starting an LLL group
here soon, and that I offer expectant parent breastfeeding classes. I
finally got in, while nobody called me back about coming, because I
saw the flyer for BfB while out and about, and went in to say, "Hey!
Me! I want to speak!" with a smile on my face, and very politely, of
course.

The main person in charge couldn't see me then, but she emailed me to
say that perhaps I could share the ten minute slot prepared for WICO
(Womens Infants Children's Overseas Food assistance program) to
discuss the benefits of breastfeeding.

Thankfully I know the woman who runs WICO here and although she never
breastfed her two children, I must give her credit for her outstanding
attitude and helpfulness in getting me started here on base in helping
others with breastfeeding. She gladly gave up a portion of her time
for me to speak.

When we got to the BfB class, she introduced me, and I launched into
my thing. Oh, and did I forget to mention that I have a 14 month old
who is still predominantly breastfeeding who therefore, of course,
needs to be with me almost all of the time? No? Well that's the
interesting part--I was able to breastfeed her three times during my
presentation, once for hunger and twice for comfort, i.e. keeping her
quiet and happy so I could finish my presentation. :-)

I left feeling great about the opportunity. I had not only been able
to discuss some of the reasons to breastfeed, and why formula feeding
was an inferior substitution, but I had been able to DEMONSTRATE with
a happy, normal, fat, beautiful, toddler! Lucky class, I thought,
naively.

A few days later I ran into the WICO representative on base, and she
looked remorseful. She said, "I'm so sorry but can we talk really
quickly about your presentation?" and told me that the woman in charge
of BfB had complained to her about my having breastfed during the
class, and that "people had complained."

I was shocked, but I also found it hugely ironic, right? Talk about
breastfeeding, but "OMG, PLEASE DON'T LOWER YOURSELF AND DEGRADE US
ALL BY THAT FILTHY BEHAVIOUR!!!"

One of the irritating things about being in a military setting, even
if you are only the spouse of a military member, is the hierarchy you
have to contend with if you want to get anything done on base. Because
of this I decided not to go directly to the BfB woman, but  to contact
our Women's Health Nurse, a respected Major, with a degree in
Lactation (amazingly lucky I know!) to to ask her to inquire as to the
details of the offended comments by participants in BfB.

When we spoke again, she said that the woman had told her, "She
breastfed!" And when probed for more details, like had I "whipped it
out?" she said, "Yes!" When the major asked her, "Really? Was there
skin showing?" The woman said, "Well, no." Now you and I understand
that it doesn't matter if there was skin showing or not, but under
this woman's rules of propriety, I had offended HER and apparently no
one else. But even by her own rules technically I had not. So
backwards, eh?

Well now I'm going to go talk to her myself. The agreement that she
and the Major tentatively came to was that as long as I gave a
disclaimer about the possibility of breastfeeding during my
presentation, that all would be well. I like this resolution. I think
it gives people who may be reticent about the thought of someone
breastfeeding in public an "out" if s/he wishes to excuse him/herself,
but also gives anyone permission to watch.

What do you all think?

We'll see.

Warmly,

Alysha Jones
Military MOM to one happily round the clock unscheduled nursing 14
month old girl
Azores, Portugal (Who is also extremely grateful that nursing in US
Federal buildings is a protected right!)

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