Hi LACTNETTERS!

     I usually sit quietly on the sidelines and read, but I had to come out of
hibernation and say, "Here, here" to Katherine Dettwyler's post about
frequency of feedings and the women of Mali.  I have something to add on a
psychological perspective.  That is, Americans, culturally, have a tremendous
problem with INTIMACY that impacts all relationships.  Although other cultures
do not have difficulty sleeping with their children--many Americans do.

     As an LC, I have seen an increase in "sperm donor" moms.  I don't doubt
that these moms truly love their babies, but I wonder about their intimacy
issues.  I know she will have to return to full time work in 6-8 weeks, and
since she is this baby's only means of support that will mean full time nanny
care.  We have a lot of single mom icons in this society, real and imagined...
Murphy Brown, Rosie O'Donnell, Madonna--all of them very attractive to the
impressionable, young women of our society.

     I am not saying that these women don't have a right to have these babies
that they want so terribly much--just that babies are often viewed as
possessions, and that they will fill a void for this lack of intimacy that is
often a self-fulfilling prophecy for these women.

     What is so very sad is that many women in our society want that baby on a
serious schedule, often feel that they need a pacifier, and cannot possibly
sleep with the baby anywhere near them.  We have many frustrated babies who,
in turn, become frustrated adults who keep others at arms length because it
"feels like home".  Also, food becomes love, and our society has never seen so
much food addiction-- anorexia, bullemia, morbid obesity.  Babies and elderly
are ignored and placed in institutions-- I think the rise in nursing home
population can be directly correlated to the increased use of day care.  If
your parents didn't take care of you, why would you want to take care of them?

     An increase in breastfeeding in our culture would certainly help
alleviate some of these intimacy issues,  particularly if women recognize the
value of frequent feeds, family bed, and keeping that baby in your arms.  I'll
step off my soapbox now...

                                             Debbie Albert, Ph.D., IBCLC