I wonder something....

Do you know why the mom is on Zoloft?  Her diagnosis?  Here's why I
wonder.

I have a friend who has been telling me all these *very interesting*
things about nursing since my second baby was born.  In the process of
her trying to convince me that formula was okay, and why didn't I just
give my baby with kidney problems Alimentum like she did.   She found
out that I nursed my first son for 3 years, so she made up stories
about how long her baby nursed.  I think it was actually maybe maybe 3
days.  Now her sister has just had a baby.  She tells her sister to
just pump and give the baby a bottle.  Today she tells me that when my
baby is "nursing all the time" I gain weight (has she been weighing
me???), and while she would never tell me this while I was dealing with
the baby being sick, she has noticed that the less he nurses the
skinnier I look. (HUH???!!!???)

Suddenly it became completely clear to me why her baby "was too sleepy
from the meds she was taking even though they said they were
safe"---she was/is anorexic, and she thinks that nursing makes you fat.

I'm not suggesting that in this case the woman is anorexic.  What I am
suggesting is that CLEARLY she is being treated for depression deriving
FROM something.... and I'm wondering what that something might be that
would lead her to not feel she can nurse her baby...what she
believes/feels that is actually probably false that is keeping her from
nursing her baby.  Is she a sexual abuse survivor, and she has trouble
distinguishing between something that is part of her sexuality and a
sexual act?  Is she vain, and someone told her her boobs would sag if
she nursed?  Is she anorexic, and someone told her nursing would make
her fat?  Is her mother overbearing and will not help her if she is
breastfeeding?

It seems clear to me that she WANTS or WANTED to nurse this baby if she
has all the acoutourments etc.  It also seems that if she is taking
Zoloft that she wants help with whatever it is that happened/is
happening that caused her to feel sad/angry/depressed beyond normal
manageable levels.  If you were going to pursue speaking with her
though, I think I would do it when grandma was not in the room.

Katie Bredbeck
mama to 2 boys

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