Just a follow-up-to-my-own-post, which was a bit brief as I was in
the middle of domestic crisis :) , sorry, Pamela.
I think Pamela does raise a crucial distinction - the mother's
emotional well-being and the baby's health - but I think it is a a
false one, in many cases, and in the cases where it's not a distinct
'choice', I think we should allow the mother to decide which 'comes
first'.
Obviously, in practical terms, the mother is not compelled to
breastfeed, but I mean in moral terms, too.....I believe that
mothers' decision-making should be embraced, supported and enabled
(except in extreme cases where the baby is at risk of abuse or in
danger).
In most everyday situations, a mothers' emotional well-being is
crucial for child emotional well-being...short and long term. We know
this, from a whole bunch of research that tracks the way humans
behave, develop and start their own relationships. Mothers whose
emotional well-being is neglected or not given priority have babies
whose whole future is compromised, in several ways.
So when we put a mother's emotional well-being at the heart of our
care, we are *also* caring for the baby.
There are situations where a mother decides to formula feed or ends
up doing so, because her breastfeeding experience is affecting her
mental health. She needs support to switch safely, and information on
how to protect a secure attachment despite not breastfeeding.
What I can't imagine is when and to whom we would ever say 'the
baby's health (ie the contination of breastfeeding) is of such
over-riding importance that it should continue even at the expense of
the mother's emotional well-being' ...which is what I understand you
to be saying, Pamela. If I am wrong, let me know!
Let me add that I am not in favour of anyone saying to a mother who
wants to breastfeed, 'I think you should stop breastfeeding because
you are mentally unwell because of it'....I think in the majority of
cases, a mother can be enabled to make her own decision, without
anyone telling her what they think is the most important thing.
Heather Welford Neil
NCT bfc, tutor, UK
>Pamela wrote:
>
>
>>And surely the baby's health trumps the mother's emotional
>>well-being, doesn't it?
>
>Not necessarily. I can think of cases, not all of them extreme,
>where this would not be right. It's also for the *mother* to decide
>her priorities...whatever we think about them.
>
>> But for some reason, we're mostly discouraged from ever saying this.
>
>
>Who would we say it to? In what context?
>
>Heather Welford Neil
>NCT bfc, tutor, UK
>
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