May I put in a gentle request that not everyone jump on the bandwagon to tar
and feather the dad who was trying to be politically correct (as best he
understands it)?   I find it really increases the opportunity for dialog if
one accepts people as always trying to do the very best they can at any
given moment.  Looked at in a spirit of tolerance, it is wonderful that this
man wants to help his wife succeed at breastfeeding.  Women often have to be
away from their babies -- even attachment parenting moms like I was
sometimes have doctors appts. or whatever.  I was so grateful that my
husband would try patiently to comfort and feed our girls when such events
occured. Breastfeeding exists in the real world, and people have the right
to live their own lives -- some of which will contain other choices than the
ones I personally made.  My job is not to judge and condem, but to find ways
to help as many women successfully breastfeed their babies as possible.
This job is ALWAYS made easier when I walk though the door (real or virtual)
with an attitude of being of service rather than being there to mark up a
score card on how far short of the mark a family is falling.  When I am
treated as if I'm just not trying hard enough, I sure don't feel very
receptive of new information.  In fact, I can get down-right contrary.  I
know that's not right, but I often can't help it.

 Let's continue to identify the real enemies and work out real strategies to
create societal change.  Let's not alienate our potential allies. A way that
might be more productive to counter his letter would be to avoid a personal
attack.  Instead, try to write a letter praising the stellar work of Dr.
Helsing, and compose a paragraph praising involved dads and offering them
ways to support bfg that include other activities than just the ones this
dad has mentioned.  Re-education is much more possible if you don't insult
someone before you offer it.


Barbara Wilson-Clay, BS, IBCLC
Austin Lactation Associates
LactNews Press
www.lactnews.com
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