Diane wrote:
>Ah!  I think I know what bothers me about Harvey Karp's method. 
>It's a Method! 
>
and

>For the record, Lamaze worked extremely well for me... but in 
>hindsight I feel I really lost something in sticking to a Method and 
>not daring to feel my own way through my own labors.  I now envy the 
>women who rocked and swayed and hummed and sang.  I was a 
>by-the-book person.  I did as I was told and did it well.  But I 
>wish I had been reassured that I already knew how to birth a baby, 
>that Lamaze didn't know everything about every labor, and that it 
>was "okay" to follow my instincts...

I hear what you are saying, Diane, and agree with you. One of the 
dilemmas I see with new mothers - and this is more about baby care 
than labour - is that anyone learning something new goes through 
several stages in that learning. The initial phase is the desperate 
need for a set of rules, so that they can go through the motions and 
*know* they are doing it 'right'. For this, they need 'methods' and 
need to do things 'by the book'.

When, as counsellors (and I feel this dilemma whenever I am 
counselling for the Australian Breastfeeding Association or working 
as an LC) we try to explain to mothers that every baby and mother is 
unique and to be wary of one-size-fits-all 'methods', follow your 
instincts, etc, I am aware that I am leading this mum into a scary 
area - one without those concrete rules that help her to feel safe in 
her stage of learning about parenting.

In this context, I see the value of *some* methods and can also 
clearly understand the attraction of any 'method' to new parents. I 
try to guide mothers to investigate those methods that I know will do 
the least harm to breastfeeding and both their psyches in the long 
term. I am much happier promoting certain authors' books and methods 
over others, knowing that the former authors are more 
breastfeeding-friendly and compassionate.

It is only later in learning that the person has the self-confidence 
to experiment and find their own unique way. We are coming from that 
stage, but we do have to remember that is not the stage the mothers 
we deal with are in.
-- 
******************************************************************
Joy Anderson B.Sc. Dip.Ed. Grad.Dip.Med.Tech. IBCLC
Australian Breastfeeding Association counsellor, Nutrition student
Perth, Western Australia.   mailto:[log in to unmask]
******************************************************************

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