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Subject:
From:
"Zena K. Gresham" <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Sat, 12 Dec 1998 01:50:58 EST
Content-Type:
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In a message dated 12/11/98 4:04:51 PM Pacific Standard Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:

<< << I am beginning not to "buy" having a possible history of sexual abuse as
a
  socially acceptable "reason" for a mother not to breastfeed.  >> >>

I never *really* understood that one. Feeling a bit uncertain here about
disclosing this among 2000 or so of my closest friends <g>...I am a survivor
of sexual abuse. By my step father, at an early enough age that I cannot
remember when it started. It went on (off and on) for a number of years until
I was taken out of the home at age 14 and put in fostercare.

I have gone to a lot of sexual abuse survivor therapy groups and it seems most
of them breastfeed. (I can only think of one at the moment that might not of.)
The hardest part about being abused is not breastfeeding.  It is the sex that
was the hard part! I and others friends of mine have only found that
breastfeeding actually helped in that healing process.  We discovered that our
bodies were not all bad, but could nourish a baby and therefore must have
something worthwhile about it.

To talk about a related topic that I would like to share. I was at a
children's counseling center once nursing my newborn and the counselor
actually took me aside later and asked me not to do that in the waiting area
in front of the children.  She told me how some of the children had
experienced sexual abuse and that seeing me breastfeed my baby might be
traumatic for them.  I told her that I had been sexual abuse myself as a child
and that I didn't see how that could effect them that way and perhaps they
would actually benefit from seeing a *healthy* and *normal* way of physical
contact.
She said that it was not my or her job to decide what to *teach* healthy
contact to these children.
I didn't know what to say to that.  I was not, at that time, the breastfeeding
Zealot that I am now. After I left I wondered if she thought that perhaps that
these children were somehow *never* going to be exposed to an image or in
person a mom breastfeeding her baby ever again?!  or that she thought that
these children should never be exposed to other forms of touching, let alone
be touched or hugged themselves?!  How is this any different?  It really made
me angry, even back then, before my zealously.
This was the only negative experience I ever had when breastfeeding in public.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zena K. Gresham
WIC breastfeeding Peer Counselor, LC in training
SO. NV Breastfeeding Taskforce President
ICQ# 23200192  [log in to unmask]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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