This is a reply from Keren Epstein-Gilboa to my question posted a while
ago.  I am posting it in my original thread.  If you are going to comment
the letter, you can also mail a copy to Keren directly at [log in to unmask]

***Hi Natalie,

I give you permission to send it to lactnet, if you want, as long as you
post the letter as I wrote it and don't edit my words. I am "no mail"  so
anyone who might want to respond to my letter would have to do so directly
to me.

So...you wrote me about a  "Russian feminist" ( from now on I will call RF)
who apparently proclaimed that nursing beyond the first year of life as
well as co-sleeping is sign that one is a latent pedophile who uses a child
to satisfy their own needs by using a child.  Interesting?!

Ok let's look at the information that she uses to back up her argument. You
wrote that: "She keeps mentioning some psychoanalysis (Freud, Young, etc)
of breastfeeding and Oedipus complex. "  ((I believe that you meant Jung
instead of Young)). I do not believe that these authors would have agreed
with the Russian feminist's interpretation of their work.

While I am not a specialist in Jungian theory, it is my understanding that
this theorist saw the first five years of life as a pre-sexual stage. Most
importantly, he saw breastfeeding as a nutritional rather than a sexual
act. Thus, in a very superficial manner this disproves part of the RF's
proposal regarding Jung.

Freud's work as you know is over a hundred years old, has been modified,
argued against, promoted and interpreted in various ways over the past
century. Apparently the RF seemed to indicate that breastfeeding beyond
infancy interferes with the healthy resolution of Freud's concept of the
Oedipus complex. In this theory the developmental task at this stage is the
internalization of gender identity. In pure Freudian terms,  the task of
the young boy is to first fall in love with the mother, try to damage the
father rival and then when the youngster realizes the futility of his
battle against his father, he identifies with him a male. I fail to see how
nursing might interfere with the resolution of this task. Perhaps, one
might contend that the gender resolution might trigger weaning.

However, as many of us who work with or have personal experience with
nursing children know, young boys and girls alike fall deeply in love with
the nursing mother long before the later part of early childhood. They do
this in conjunction with many other developmental tasks inclusive of gender
identity. The infant's love affair with the breast is described in detail
in object relations theory. It is also interesting to note that within this
paradigm, the infant recognizes a rivalry with the parent at a much younger
stage than in Freudian theory. Most importantly for the argument at hand,
object relations theory demonstrates that nursing is an act that fulfils
the infant's needs and justifies nursing as a child centered act.

Yet, there are problems with this theory in terms of nursing into early
childhood. First of all, it is very important to note that psychologists,
similar to other professionals are also influenced by the culture around
them. As such, the reduction in nursing beyond infancy as a norm in western
culture also decreased the attention that this relationship received in the
literature, including in object relations texts.
The lack of knowledge regarding true child development in relation to
nursing is the culprit in this case. This weakens our claim that nursing
contributes rather than hinders child development. Hopefully my research
will improve this situation somewhat.

Until we have more information that refers directly to nursing beyond
infancy I use other theories that apply to child development and show how
these relate to nursing. In addition to object relations there are many
theories show the contribution of sensitive parenting styles to positive
child outcome. You might use this research to prove how nursing facilitates
sensitive parenting styles.For example,  attachment literature talks about
cue reading, attunement and sensitivity. (I wrote an article on mother
infant interaction during nursing that reinforces these terms, This might
help you with this..do you want the name of the article?).
These theories also talk about the developmental significance of proximity
and separation seeking behaviors. One might use them to show the meaning of
a proximity seeking behavior such as co-sleeping from the child's point of
view.

In short a good enough understanding of child development clearly
demonstrates that allowing children to nurse and wean at their own rate is
a child centered rather than a selfish adult centered act.

Another issue highlighted in your letter, Natalie was child abuse. The RF
apparently links nursing beyond infancy and co-sleeping to child
maltreatment. Child maltreatment is an act that violates children's needs,
impairs their development and is associated with negative child outcome.
The theories and arguments that I listed above clearly negate that nursing
beyond infancy has particular elements that reinforce negative child
outcome. Moreover, those of us who have observed children who co-sleep with
their parents have noted the comfort and delight that many of these
children demonstrate regarding this issue. Child led co-sleeping is often
associated with weaning from the parental bed when the child shows signs of
readiness. Thus, in contrast to the negative child outcome that follows
maltreatment, children who co-sleep seem to demonstrate positive affect and
independent decision making skills, important variables of positive child
outcome.

Another important issue in your letter pertained to the apparent sexual
nature of nursing for mothers. You quoted the RF: "if you don't experience
orgasms while breastfeeding, there is something wrong with you, go seek
help". So again let's understand her argument in order to disprove her
words. Well on one hand she is right that there is a physiological
component of nursing that resembles the sexual response cycle. During
sexual intimacy the breast tissue becomes engorged with additional blood
flow. Some women might recognize the similarity between this sensation and
breast stimulation during nursing. However, our arms, lips etc are also
stimulated when our children as well as others touch us. Our minds
interpret the similar physical sensations differently and thus, we separate
these same but very different experiences. Furthermore, the breast
engorgement associated with sexual intimacy rarely leads to orgasm and most
women require additional clitoral or vaginal stimulation in order to reach
orgasm. In addition I reiterate that the mind plays an important role in
all of our activities and thus, the act of breast stimulation in sex for
most women is interpreted in a very different way than the act of suckling
a beloved child.

Now about feminism and nursing. As you probably know feminist theory has
evolved greatly over the years. It is my understanding that the earlier
feminists in their well intentioned aim of bettering women's lot, sought to
create an apparently more equal environment by downplaying our unique
female qualities. However, if one reads some of the later feminist
literature one begins to sense a new found proud in our female
characteristics inclusive of our capacity to birth and nurse our children.
Thus, different from RF, many feminists today not only accept women's
desire to stay home and nurture their children but also cherish these
acts.

So Natalie, two months later..and I have finally answered your most
important letter. I hope that this short form will suffice for now!

Keren Epstein-Gilboa MEd BScN RN FACCE LCCE IBCLC
PhD (Candidate, Human Development/Family Relations)***

             ***********************************************

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