Karleen writes:

>There are risks involved for all. But that's life really and it's clearly up
>to individuals to decide what risks they are willing to take and how they
>might manage them.


I agree that the volunteer donors need to know the risks, but it is 
not fair to ask an *individual* to manage something upsetting, 
threatening, or simply massively inconvenient.

In every context I have worked in (helplines, talkboards) something 
of this sort has happened, and there have either been protocols in 
place, or else we have had to  develop them so they are used the next 
time something happens (and it does....). The organisation takes the 
burden of managing the risk from the individual, and thus keeps her 
and her family safe.

OK, let's spell it out. Yes, I *am* hard bitten by what I have seen 
and had to deal with on behalf of others -  others who are working as 
volunteers, in their own homes, out of kindness and goodwill. They 
have to deal with the people who pretend to have a baby (there is no 
baby); the people who pretend to be a concerned father (ditto); the 
men who pretend to be women (we had a very persistent caller like 
this - it was not a woman with an unusually deep voice, believe me); 
the person who threatens suicide (that was horrible - it was on a 
talkboard); the person who threatens to abandon their baby or to harm 
their baby; the men who try to get into a conversation about 
breastfeeding older children; the caller who rings someone's home 
repeatedly at anti-social times, waking her family; the very abusive 
caller; the obscene caller.

Every volunteer who ends up dealing with these situations needs 
support and the knowledge that she is protected and that the 
organisation she is working for  understands what's happening and can 
make it stop. Within my own organisation we have instant email 
report, and a paid-for manager who is available 24/7 for emergencies, 
and volunteer managers who back her up (I am one).

>  And of course removal of the
>relational aspect also removes one of the greatest aspects of altruistic
>milk sharing- the relationship that can be created between mothers helping
>one another. This particular aspect is one that has come through again and
>again in stories of wet nursing in emergency situations that have been
>shared with me and I don't think it should be underestimated.


I am all in favour of this. But it takes a lot of hard work to enable 
this to happen safely when you are dealing with stranger-to-stranger 
contacts, and I don't see this being acknowledged. It's not enough to 
set up a website and then place all the responsibility for personal 
safety and well-being on volunteers.

I would be happy to learn that this aspect has been addressed - I am 
not against the principle at all, though I would not like anything to 
happen that was at the expense of free milk banks.

Heather Welford Neil
NCT bfc, tutor, UK


-- 
http://www.heatherwelford.co.uk

http://heatherwelford.posterous.com

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