At 11:19 PM 1/10/01 EST, you wrote:
>Excellent book!  I haven't read it in about 30 years, but would love to read
>it again.  One of my favorite chapters was Needs vs Habits.
>Warm regards,

My most memorable page was his talking about children who are experiencing
painful medical procedures. He acknowledged that they will cry more if
Mother is with them and that is positive instead of negative.  When Mother
is there they feel safe enough to cry. "Tears, not fears" are preferred, he
said.

I can actually remember the room and chair that I was in when I read that
31 years ago. With a 1-year-old I was most impressionable.

There was a lot in his book that affirmed my desired way of parenting. The
above words supported me when I insisted on being with my 2-year-old child
(and for several years afterwards) when she had major dental work.  Her
primary teeth came in with incomplete enamel and she had more dental work
before she was 6 years old than most of us have in a lifetime. She did cry
when it hurt, but she was not paralyzed with fear the next time we had to
go in.  She bravely held my hand hard as we walked into the dental office
and her smile returned as soon as the pain was over.  [By the way, her
caries continued long after she weaned (3 1/2); in fact, until her
permanent teeth came in.]

Many times I have remembered Dr. Hymes' encouragement for me to let my
children express their feelings...no matter what.

Pat Gima, IBCLC
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
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