I'm sure you're doing all the right stuff, Kathy - but when you reach an
impasse like this, the best advice is to "try something different." This
isn't a simple, quick fix or it would have worked by now.  It's time to call
in reinforcements. IMHO, this baby needs a thorough medical checkup as well
as a fresh pair of eyes and ears in addition to yours.  I see many babies
like this, and what's wrong isn't "something you forgot."  Many kids who
can't latch have a disorganized or dysfunctional suck that needs very careful
and thorough evaluation.   A feeding specialist - PT or OT - would be a good
place to start, after discussing everything (preferably in writing) with the
baby's primary care provider.

And it's even harder because she's a friend. At the very least, get another
LC involved for a more objective second opinion/second brain. In fact, it
might even be better to drop back into being a friend only, and make a
clear-cut referral to someone else with a different background or who works
in a different setting. Screaming babies who can't eat are in trouble, and
their moms need more than hand-holding. Or in addition to hand-holding.

Linda Smith, private practice in Dayton OH