Diana,
I think you misunderstood the thread of the discussion. We are not trying to
convert anyone to a particular type of nursing. Very few of us nurse beyond
six months much less a year. The question was <Do you really think one bottle
a day after BF is firmly established is a threat to the mom-baby
relationship?> My answer to that question is: YES it *could* be a threat. The
reasons have been very well articulated here. I have numerous examples where
"one bottle a day" turned into sudden, unintended weaning because no one knew
the path they were on. If the family intends to move toward bottles (and
statistically most do), then they don't see it as a problem anyway. If the
family had intended to nurse for a longer time, they would be interested in
knowing the risks involved - especially if they ask.  I certainly don't think
we should recommend relief bottles. The other part of this question had to to
with whether or not NIGHTTIME relief bottles given by Dad really a help Mom
or baby. Again, the concensus was NO.

I have a woman in my group who had intended to nurse her first daughter at
least a year so she would never have to buy ABM. Her baby got occasional
bottles of EBM while she took two classes at the University. At seven months,
the baby suddenly refused the breast (weaning strike, rate confusion??) and
this Mom was heartbroken. Her doctor told her that meant the baby was done
nursing. She didn't know about LLL or LCs and believed her doctor. She had NO
IDEA that there could be a problem with giving occasional bottles. She cried
her eyes out and fed ABM. In the mean time, she met some LLL people through a
playgroup and learned about toddler nursing and nursing strikes. She was
angry with the doctor and determined not to make the same mistake with baby
#2. Daughter #1 now has asthma and other health problems, while daughter #2
is a nursing two year old with no problems. No one needed to *convert* this
Mom. She had always intended to nurse longer and would have done anything to
prevent her daughter's abrupt weaning. She didn't know what she didn't know.

The point is that "You don't know what you don't know". Many (maybe most)
pumps are bought off the shelf at Toys Are Us, Walgreens or K-Mart. Even high
quality pumps can be bought through catalogs and specialty stores. I don't
think we have that much influence over the choices Moms make. When Moms come
to LCs and LLL, they might be more motivated to to nurse longer. Most people
don't realize how bottle biased our culture is. They certainly have no idea
about the potential harm there could be in introducing bottles. It often
doesn't occur to even well motivated families that bottles and pumps aren't
necessary. People who are interested will listen, those who aren't won't.
Societal changes are made one Mom at a time.

I certainly agree that we should always applaud ANY breastfeeding. Most
families choose to wean early because that is where they are in their
understanding of baby feeding. I felt the discussion was about dispelling the
idea that a bottle here and there would NEVER threaten an established
breastfeeding relationship - especially when the Mom DOES want to nurse
longer.

Marie of WI LLLL & MOM