Norma's story brought to mind an experience I will never forget - a young
woman delivered her third child, first girl - diagnosed at birth with Downs.

I was called in as a friend, as her sister had received breastfeeding help
from me - because the family was appalled that the husband was having
exactly the same reaction Norma mentioned.  Lots of anger within the
hospital staff and the family was having a great deal of trouble with it -
finally agreeing that a sister (single professional) would take her.

I held my tongue and my anger, and sat and talked with the mother - at which
point she asked me to bring her baby to her - this was a very
high-capability baby - at least when it came to breastfeeding - and she
latched on and nursed like a pro!  Dad called at that very moment and
insisted baby be taken back to the nursery - I did as he and mom requested.

When he came in, we sat and talked - the story was very different from what
you would have imagined - he had been the younger brother of a half-brother
who came to live with them when he was 8 or 9 - who had Downs.  From that
moment on, his dad's and mom's life was centered on caring for that child -
to the detriment of the other children.  He did not want the same for his
two older sons.

I asked permission to have one of our other moms that had a Downs baby to
come by and visit - she did - and this baby DID go home with his parents.

The family did survive this difficult time.  

There are so many times when we have no idea what is in other people's minds
or life-experiences!  Sometimes we are lucky enough to find out - but often
we don't - and assume that WE know what is BEST and 'RIGHT' ...

Jeanette Panchula, BSW, RN, PHN, IBCLC
Vacaville, CA, USA

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