I found both Katherine's post on moms in Mali and Debbie's post on moms and
intimacy very interesting.

I would caution about making sweeping generalizations about single moms and
their degree of attachment to their infants.  Family is not only defined by
kids, mom and dad.   There are all sorts of families traditional (in the US
sense the nuclear family mom, dad, kids), and non traditional (mom-mom and
kids, dad-dad and kids, mom and kids, dad and kids not to mention all sorts of
families with relatives such as grandparents, aunts/uncles and non blood
members that serve as surrogate family members).

Some women are single moms by choice, some by circumstance.  It's a tough job
to be a parent irrespective of the family constellation one lives in .

Rather than to make judgements about the validity of a type of family, I find
it helpful to make suggestions to my patient's parents about how to strengthen
their family and optimally parent.  I also realize that they have the right to
"take what they need and leave the rest."  Their choices might not be the
one's I think are "best" but I also don't walk in their shoes.

I am a single mom by choice (dad left me in the dust when I was 6 weeks
pregnant).   I had to make major career changes to put my child first.   As a
result I was able to stay home with my baby for four months  and have worked
part time since then.  As my close biological relatives are several thousand
miles away, I have been able to create a family of choice ( some  people may
call it an extended family others might call it a support group).  My child
has loving adults and children in his life.  I continue to breastfeed (and
plan to continue as long as he wants to be nursed).  As a result I have a
loving infant who is secure, happy and healthy.

My take home message--encourage parents to make choices that work best for
them and their children but don't assume it will be the same choice you would
make for your own family.

Pierrette Mimi Poinsett MD FAAP
mom of Joshua Mandela Poinsett who is now walking at 10 months
Modesto CA