Dear Friends:
Here is another part of the conversation about seeing bottle-feeding
mothers. Someetimes they feel offended or put-upon or defensive.
And sometimes they really wanted to breastfeed all along but have been
either ignored ("She's 17, too young to do it/know/care.") or derailed.
("You
mean my baby got artificially fed in the nursery last night? But I told
them
I was breastfeeding.")
Yesterday, I walked into the room of the 17-year old, who was standing
up, giving her baby girl a bottle. I introduced myself as the lactation
consultant. She said she wasn't
breastfeeding. I asked "why?". She replied instantly, "It's too
complicated."
So we talked about that......breastfeeding is actually very simple if
you just watch and listen to the baby; it's other people that make it
complicated.
Then she said she couldn't sit down because her bottom was so sore. I
said, "You can stand up and breastfeed." She started to relax. I suggested
she
think it over, and that I would see her tomorrow.
She agreed.
Today, I went into her room. She told me she had tried it, and it didn't
work. We agreed to put the baby s2s and see what happened, while the mother
was lying in the position she was already comfortable in................for
her, it was reclining almost completely.
Baby started rooting immediately upon s2s. (Don't you LOVE that!.) I sat
next to the bed and coaxed/coached for a while. Then I got concerned that
the mother would bail out, being already very insecure. I asked permision,
made
a nipple sandwich, and BAM! The baby was on.
She burst out, "I really wanted to breastfeed."
Turns out she eats really well: lots of steamed vegetables, fruits and
meats in pregnancy. Hated the formula. Didn't feel she could ask for help,
because she is a sweet, well-behaved young woman and didn't want to
contradict
her elders......Her boyfriend is involved and they are very sweet and
happy.
Now what if I had just dismissed her, and not gone into her room because
she was listed as bottle-feeding??? (This is what is expected at some
facilities.)
Just the other day,another mother felt defensive and "wrong" for the
same actions on my part. I stopped by to see her and was told she was not
breastfeeding. I asked, "Okay......do you know what to do with your breasts
once
they fill with milk?" And we discussed that. I asked again, gently, after a
while, then reinforced that "if you breastfeed and hate it, you and your
baby won't have any fun." This same mother complained to a nurse about the LC;
she felt 'judged' and was defensive.
What do you all think?
warmly,
Nikki Lee RN, MS, Mother of 2, IBCLC, CCE
Lactation Consultant, Philadephia Department of Public Health
Maternal-Child Adjunct Faculty, Union Institute and University
Film Reviews Editor, Journal of Human Lactation
www.breastfeedingalwaysbest.com
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