In a message dated 1/8/0 11:45:01 PM, [log in to unmask] writes:

>Has anyone noted a distinct difference in early adjustment to parenthood
>of more mature women (esp. "elderly primips") who have established their
>professional life, DINK (Double Income, No Kids) home and social
>routines, and have developed the habit of using a planner for scheduling
>their priorities to liberate them from excess stress?
>

I always chuckle when I seen this depiction of "mature mothers" who happen to
have had a professional life before parenting.
The danger in generalizing is that many times it incorporates "contempt prior
to investigation" (borrowed from a well known recovery program).
I happen to have been a SINK (Single Income, No Kids AKA single person) who
had a professional life before embarking on parenting.  Couldn't find a
spouse, didn't have anyone one in my life that I would even consider
procreating with until I turned 38
(some of us are late bloomers).  The individual with that vital material for
procreation decided that the actual task of parenting was beyond him.  I also
realized I wasn't ready to become a parent until I had finished school,
residency and worked in my profession.
I learned before parenting that "Superwoman" was a label that I did not have
to carry.  Gave up the cape many years before.  Having a profession made it a
whole lot easier to become a single parent, work part time and stay
financially solvent.
As for those dang organizers... I can't even keep track of a simple calendar
book.  I've learned that if I had more than two things listed on one day that
I would probably not get it all done. My best stress reduction has been to
realize that if I'm running late on a day, I probably have too much
scheduled. And those lists with the check off boxes...I wont even go there.

I like to remember that women come to parenting with a diversity of
experiences: families come in a variety of constellations.

Enjoying my life as a "SIIK" (Single Income One Kid),

Pierrette Mimi Poinsett, MD, FAAP
Modesto CA

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