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From:
Janet Simpson <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Tue, 17 Oct 1995 15:52:11 -0400
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Hi,
 Anne, I agree with you about moms becoming attached to the pump and the baby
suffering the loss of BF.  For my sons fist 2 months, I couldn't BF because
of severe nipple trauma.  Our bonding process never really happened until he
was 3-4 months old because of the  pain I was in and because of the bottle.
 Towards the end of our bottle feeding days I learned to hold the bottle
against my breast and hold Ben in the BF position when giving him his bottle.
 This helped somewhat.  But I can never forget what  Ben and I lost those 2
months.  When I had to pump, I had the MER, but I did not experience the same
feelings I get when I actually BF Ben.  I think that there is a definite
difference.  It's hard to fall in love with a machine.  The only thing that
kept me going was that I knew I was giving my baby the BEST.  My milk.  That
helped somewhat.  But when we actually get to BF again, the feelings were
different.   Now, Ben and I have a strong bond, but it is sad that it took so
long to develop.  I can't imagine what it would be like to never develop a
bond as strong as the ones I have with both my boys.  I feel sad for moms and
babies who use the bottle with ABM or the bottle with EBM, because they will
never know the special joy and the special bond that BF moms and babies have.
 I have a good friend who now gives her son EBM in a bottle ("he just won't
go to breast anymore!" she says.  Gee, after all those bottles I wonder why?
) and she is so impressed because now baby likes to hold his own bottle and
she can get more done while he's feeding himself in his baby seat.  But, she
did notice how attached my son is to me and also how independent he can be.
 If she leaves her sons sight for a second he freaks.  (our boys are only a
month or two apart).  Unfortunately, she sees nothing wrong with her baby
feeding himself and not being cuddled at mealtimes.
I often wonder at the long term effects this has on children.  The lack of a
strong bond with mom and the lack of cuddle time at mealtime.  Could some of
our social problems be a result from the many years of the "if you hold your
baby all time you'll spoil him"  theory?  How about the "bottle feeding is
better than BF" theory which has caused a lack of strong bonding?  I think it
is apalling that our babies have been used as guinea pigs for the ABM
companies and that now we are possibly seeing the results of this 'human
study' as a breakdown in our society.  I wonder what our society would be
like if ABM had never been invented, and BF was the ONLY way to feed your
baby.  (except for those cases where mom couldn't BF so baby got either
donated human milk or goats milk)  Too bad we can't turn back time and see...

I have to say that even though many moms get hooked on the pump and babies
get hooked on the artificial nipple, that at least they are getting mama
milk.  It isn't the best way to get it, by far, but at least it's better than
ABM.  And at least these moms know that their babies deserve their milk and
they are willing to do the work and put out the effort to get their milk to
their babies.  It is a lot of work to pump and put the milk in bottles and do
all the cleaning and deal with the hassle.  I know, I HAD to do it for 4
months.   So, I give these moms the encouragement they need to keep on
pumping their milk, while gently encouraging them to put baby to breast and
seek out an LC to help get the baby off the bottle and on to the breast.  I
have been successfull a time or two.  We just have to remember that support
is the most important thing for these moms.  (Some, for psychological
reasons, can't bear to put the baby to breast, but don't want the baby to
have ABM.  What a dillema!)  Choice is the operative word here, IMHO, and I'm
all for choice, especially when the baby gets moms milk!
Sorry so, long.

Jay
LC2B

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