In a message dated 5/10/2002 5:40:19 PM Eastern Daylight Time, Pam writes:
> ....a lot around here work so they can have bigger homes, bigger cars, =
> and enroll their children in after-school classes and sports. Most just =
> don't have time to nurse their babies. (I so admire those mothers who =
> have to work but still breastfeed.).....I realize I am getting to be an old
> cynic here. But some of you do agree with me, I'm sure..
Many moms in this area also use the above "have to work" reasoning, ....I am
not at the phase of life where I can be as blunt with new moms as I lately
sometimes desire to be, ....when I am grayer and more likely to be able to
get away with it I plan to respond "now don't tell me you can't BF because
you *must* work, more accurate to say that you have *arranged things* so you
have to provide income for totally optional expenses, the new big house, the
two new cars, and you can unmake that bed if you so desire".
I am at the phase where I say something along the lines of "you will consider
the options, prioritize, and decide what is the best choice for your baby
and your situation"............
The other day a mom giving up pumping to provide expressed milk for her baby
told me briefly her situation as she was returning her pump, ....as she was
talking I was thinking she should keep pumping and working on BF, but she
voiced the firm decision to quit due to what she perceived as overwhelming
obstacles, and what the mom *perceives* is a primary factor usually,
....but, her ambivalence was revealed as she turned to leave she asked me
"won't my baby be just as happy and healthy on formula?" .......long
hesitation, working hard to hide my disapproval of her decision in spite of
my "we all do the best we can with the information and support that we have"
philosophy, .....pondering how to answer her honestly but compassionately,
rushed to move on to other moms waiting and eager to BF,......."Happy?,
...yes that is a good probability, ....as healthy?, I can't say that would be
true, .....but, you kept it up a good while, provided your baby a good deal
of breastmilk, you can be proud of that."
I think even new moms know the correct answers to these questions, .....but
as we all do, they seek needed validation of their decisions.
Debbie Tobin
RN BSN IBCLC LCCE
Springfield, Virginia USA
In the Fairfax County suburbs outside the Washington DC beltway
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