<< I have helped a few mothers to relactate or try to relactate and nothing
discourages them more than to speak with another LC or a doctor who plants
the idea that they probably won't be able to do so or that most women can't.
>>

and

<<I have the opposite problem, -- meaning I work with moms who think
relactation is easy. There seems to be a myth floating around that all one
has to do is take fenugreek.>>

Two sides to similar issues!

Where do we "draw the line" in realistic expectations and unrealistic hopes?
If you plant the idea that "every woman can do this," how do we balance
realistic expectations versus unrealistic hopes?

In this area, I am blessed with numerous mothers who want to breastfeed
their babies with cleft palates/lips. In 10 years, I have had contact with
over 20 mothers with cleft-affected babies. The literature is very hopeful,
"If you try hard enough, your baby will be able to breastfeed" which leaves
many a mother feeling very sad if her baby was not able to latch and
breastfeed. (which has been the case, more often than not)

The literature is very positive, but realistically? The mothers get very
hopeful, and then when it doesn't happen, they are almost desperate. They
feel like they haven't tried hard enough, they feel badly that they have to
supplement, they are angry that the literature tells them if they try hard
enough they can do it, and they've tried really hard! I feel this sets them
up for a tremendous let-down, because at least around here (no physician
support, medicated deliveries, premature inductions) the babies are starting
off at a deficit.

Should we not tell them that this may not happen, or do we let them find out
for themselves?

Still learning,
Heather "Sam" Doak
Marietta Ohio

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