Certainly, all babies who are healthy should self-attach. This is how they are wired, what they are designed for neurologically. They are also designed for constant contact with their mothers--not "baby is offered the breast within an hour of birth" after being separated, rubbed off, suctioned and otherwise violated. After, of course, being drugged, frightened (baby experiences everything mother experiences), knowing they are causing their mothers fear and pain, being hurried, forced and often yanked, having metal screwed into their heads and being otherwise violated, often before being cut out of their mothers. 

Yes, the beginning of healing all of this pain and trauma is reconnecting with the mother and feeding at the breast. It is the only hope of restoring any level of competency and normal function. It happens almost w/o exception and w/o mothers ever being told how at a homebirth. My first son was born almost 19 years ago and within seconds of being in my arms, w/ no direction from anyone, he was suckling. But, no one hurt him and no one hurt me and no one took away our power or damaged our instincts.

So, while every single baby needs to self-attach and we can faciliate this happening for so many babies who did not do so at birth, this is not a cure-all. Babies can self-attach who have tongue-tie (my daughter did), and they can self-attach when they have birth injuries or trauma (my youngest son did--he self-attached just fine, but needed to see a chirpractor the next day b/c he was born so fast that he needed an adjustment). And my babies were all born at home. Add the awful practices babies are subjected to in hospitals and whether or not self-attachment will happen depends on a lot of variables.

I have had many babies who were able to feed when moms did the work for them, but were not able to direct their own feeding until they had received CST or chiropractic. I have had babies who could not self-attach until they had been able to release some of their trauma through energy therapies such as Bach Flowers or energy work. I have had lots of babies who could only self-attach in the bath-tub (I think moms' energy in the tub contributes).

I had one baby who was born at home--great birth, but mom was transported for delivery of placenta. Baby was away from mom for about 7 hours. When she returned, he was angry, disoraganized and refused to feed. She was very patient--did lots of skin-to-skin--just stayed in bed with him. He was just distressed. I went to her house, put a half dozen Bach Flower Remedies in the tub and ran a bath for her. The transformation in him was visible right in front of us--dad was stunned. He was gentled in the tub and self-attached. He also had a tongue-tie and needed to be clipped and have CST. But, he was very happy to be at breast from that moment on.

I encourage anyone who is not having luck with self-attachment to consider what other supportive therapies the baby (or mom) might need. I do not think babies are only frustrated (although I think many are). Babies experience the full range of feelings and they are as complex as we are in their expression of them. Babies do not like the things that routinely happen to them in hospitals, nor do they like the stresses they are subjected to in utero from a toxic enviroment, maternal stress and poor maternal nutrition. These traumas do not disappear--they become part of the psyche of the individual. I think we are in the perfect position through the use of a combination of energetic tools and self-attachment to release trauma and allow the baby the optimum potential to thrive.

Jennifer Tow, IBCLC, CT, USA
Intuitive Parenting Network LLC

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