I think the husband's attitude is very understandable considering
current societal attitudes to breasts, incest, etc.  Perhaps the
fact that this is a boy gives him more concern than did the girl.
The boy touching his wife's breasts may seem to him to be a
violation of the marital contract even when nursing didn't.  I'm not
saying these feelings on his part are reason not to let the child
comfort in this way, just trying to understand where he may be
coming from.  These thoughts are quite possibly not even conscious
on his part.
I think it might be helpful if the mom can point out to him that her
response to the child's touching is not the same as her response to
the husband's touch.  She might even say something like, "Before I
nursed our babies, I would have been shocked by it thinking it was
too much like foreplay, but after having nursed and now that I
understand children better I can see that it is a comfort thing
rather than a sexual thing and I respond to it very differently."
It is helpful to realize that children outgrow this just as they
eventually ourgrow thumb sucking, blankies, etc.  The bigger the
issue parent's make of it, the harder it may be for the child to
move on to other comfort objects/actions.

Winnie

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