"Yes, they've gotten the message that "breastfeeding is the best feeding
for 
babies," but they are countering with the message that it isn't best for 
themselves."

Very amateur psychologist here...
So what is it that these moms want relief from? Maybe it's the intensity of
the relationship. They don't embrace it with joy. They have a
claustrophobic reaction and want to escape and they "want their body back".
They don't want pumping, or wetness, or "being pinned down to the bed by my
nipple." (phrases I have heard in the past.)

I met a young mom who agreed to pump her milk for her NICU baby, but was
clear that she would feed baby formula when baby was well enough to go
home. Her reason: "I just can't get that close to my baby." Yes, she had
issues in her life, but for her, bottle feeding gave her the space or
detatchment she was seeking. Attachment Parenting made her feel smothered
or lost or...

At least she identified her problem and said so in words. She didn't fall
back on the old, "I had to quit because..." of some outside force: feeding
all the time (more than q4hrs), doctor, pain, work, MIL, travel...   Some
of them will pump and bottle feed EBM. 

Some of the react with the Yuck Factor:  He's EATING on me! eewwww! How
long does he DO this? And the only part of baby's body touching mom is
baby's lips and mom's fingertips.

Why is it so many moms "can't get that close" to their babies?

Phyllis Adamson, IBCLC, RLC
Glendale, AZ
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