I want to echo some of the recent posts on feelings of anger/ aggression
during letdowns with a new baby.  I noticed this myself. Most people are
totally unprepared for any feelings of anger toward their much-loved older
child when they are first nursing a new baby.  LLL talks of having an arm
free while nursing the new baby so mom can cuddle and hug the toddler, but
what sometimes happens (especially when nursing newborn twins) is a sudden
urge to use a leg to keep that toddler at a distance.  I think it is a
protective urge, allowing the mother to focus her total attention on the
vulnerable newborn.  I liken it to the common knowledge that you don't
disturb a mother bear with new cubs.  New mothers in other species are also
known to be aggressive in defending their babies. For instance, you would
be cautious in picking up a very new kitten or puppy, even though the
mother has been your family pet and not usually not at all aggressive.  A
few weeks later, she doesn't mind.

I think this may be true in humans as well.  Hormonal influences probably
play a part.  I would guess that lack of sleep further contibutes to a new
mother's feelings of irritability and lack of patience with disturbances
from anyone, while she tries to focus on nursing her newborn.  These
feelings tend to decrease after a few weeks.  For those who experience
them, it can be very frightening, as it is rarely acknowledged or
discussed, and comes as a shock to many mothers.  It may be helpful to let
new mothers know ahead of time that such feelings can occur, so that they
do not feel something is totally wrong with them.

Anne Altshuler, RN, mS, IBCLC and LLL leader in Madison, WI
e-mail address:   [log in to unmask]